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Cheating Fiance
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/10/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My fiance recently cheated with a waitress he worked with. She has quit since then. He said he only kissed her but, for some reason, I don't believe him. He also kept it from me for almost 2 months. ShouldIi text from his phone acting as him and see what she says -- and see if she will admit to more? I don't know what to believe, and I have to know if he's been honest with me. I want to believe him but something is telling me he's lying.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
This is the kind of thing that a man, or woman will lie about! Sure, try the text from his phone, why not? But the fact that he cheated, kissing or more, means he's not committed to you in the way anyone should want if she (or he) intends on marriage. Marriage can be hard enough without going into it having trust issues. If you don't have trust, you have nothing -- as I have often repeated in my column (ad nauseam!). And this too. The elements all couples should have to help insure a suscessful union are these: trust, respect, common interests and values, open communication, and a willingness to form a working partnership. So far trust, and respect are lacking, and I see no commitment in terms of partnership. You may have dodged a bullet by finding out about this, because after spending money on a wedding, only to find out it was one big lie, is far worse than what you're going through now. When, or if the s**t hits the fan, and you still think he's worth the effort -- couples counseling would be the best path to take.
My fiance recently cheated with a waitress he worked with. She has quit since then. He said he only kissed her but, for some reason, I don't believe him. He also kept it from me for almost 2 months. ShouldIi text from his phone acting as him and see what she says -- and see if she will admit to more? I don't know what to believe, and I have to know if he's been honest with me. I want to believe him but something is telling me he's lying.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
This is the kind of thing that a man, or woman will lie about! Sure, try the text from his phone, why not? But the fact that he cheated, kissing or more, means he's not committed to you in the way anyone should want if she (or he) intends on marriage. Marriage can be hard enough without going into it having trust issues. If you don't have trust, you have nothing -- as I have often repeated in my column (ad nauseam!). And this too. The elements all couples should have to help insure a suscessful union are these: trust, respect, common interests and values, open communication, and a willingness to form a working partnership. So far trust, and respect are lacking, and I see no commitment in terms of partnership. You may have dodged a bullet by finding out about this, because after spending money on a wedding, only to find out it was one big lie, is far worse than what you're going through now. When, or if the s**t hits the fan, and you still think he's worth the effort -- couples counseling would be the best path to take.
