Dear Miss Emily:

OK, I have never done this kind of thing before... but I am at a loss! I need guidance. So a little more than 3 years ago, I met this woman who became my best friend. She was having problems with her husband. We just talked a lot (keep in mind I was 21 at the time and had never been married). One day, she casually asked me if I would be interested in a threesome. Well, one thing led to another and, now, we are all three in this huge love triangle! We are trying to make our lives work together. We are raising our children together, and everything that goes along with a normal relationship. She feel like her husband doesn't love her. He feels like he loves both of us. I do love them both, but I am getting older and want different things, such as marriage. And they are willing to marry me in a small ceremony to pronounce our love for each other. I am just wondering... is this a healthy relationship? What should I do?

------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

It's unhealthy if you think it's unhealthy. It does you no good to suppress your feelings about wanting a traditional marriage, and a traditional life. If you have a child by this man, and the mere fact that there are children involved, at some point they are going to wonder what kind of arrangement their parents have with each other. And that is where problems arise. To not be honest with them forces the three of you into a perpetual lie, and it gets harder to mask around growing children. To be honest with them will puts them in an unfortunate position of having to explain the relationship to friends. If you do not have any children in this relationship, it makes it much easier for you to exit without too much difficulty. Because you are having these doubts, I would seek counseling if it's at all feasible. The longer you wait to settle this matter, the harder it may be to leave. You're a 24 year-old woman, and now that you're maturing this arrangement is starting to feel as if it may not be a good fit for the long-haul. You have some soul searching to do, but you have every right to do so. I wish you luck in your quest.