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Boyfriend's Friendly With Mother Of His Kids
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/7/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I am 31 years old and have been dating this guy for a year now. He has twins that are 7, He and his baby's mother get along very well, maybe too well for me. I have been in relaitonships with guys that had kids but they never had a good relationship with their kids mom, so this is all new to me. One half of me is saying that its a good thing, it's all for the kids, but on the other hand I don't know, She calls him and they joke and laugh and then its about the kids. They act like they are best friends. I love this guy, but I don't know if I can deal with his wonderful relationship with this woman. It seems like I'm the only one with the problem, so maybe I should remove myself from the situation. I don't know what to do.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
The best thing for his kids is that he and their mother get along. The alternative could screw up the kids for life. You have to trust this man in order to maintain a good relationship with him. And you have to be absolutely sure that his relationship with the mother of his children is friendly because they know it's better to get along than not, and it's best for the kids. I don't know if you worry about them getting back together, but their behavior is not necessarily a sign that this is pending for the future. Of course there are no guarantees in any relationship, and you want to be sure that he and this woman are simply doing the right thing. Some people have children together, and get along despite the fact they don't want to live under the same roof. These kids are 7, and you'd think if there was a chance of them getting back together, it would have happened a long time ago. But if this is a threat to you, even if there is no relationship other than friendship, you'd better get out now. He's not going to abandon this working relationship for the sake of his children for you, or anyone else. Personally, if I thought I was with a loving guy who is attentive and we had common interests and values, I would appreciate the fact he's capable of seeing the bigger picture -- and realized it's best for the kids to show a united front with their mother. Any anger, and bitterness in a relationship where two people share kids is not only harmful to the children, but causes added trouble to the girlfriend of the father to the kids. Women and men can be awfully vindictive when they see that a new woman, or man is in their kids' life. Jealousy can produce nothing but emotional pain and trouble for all concerned. If he's getting along because he doesn't hold a grudge, or whatever reason other than an interest in the mother of his children, you've lucky. It's a much simpler way to live. It's better to get along.
I am 31 years old and have been dating this guy for a year now. He has twins that are 7, He and his baby's mother get along very well, maybe too well for me. I have been in relaitonships with guys that had kids but they never had a good relationship with their kids mom, so this is all new to me. One half of me is saying that its a good thing, it's all for the kids, but on the other hand I don't know, She calls him and they joke and laugh and then its about the kids. They act like they are best friends. I love this guy, but I don't know if I can deal with his wonderful relationship with this woman. It seems like I'm the only one with the problem, so maybe I should remove myself from the situation. I don't know what to do.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
The best thing for his kids is that he and their mother get along. The alternative could screw up the kids for life. You have to trust this man in order to maintain a good relationship with him. And you have to be absolutely sure that his relationship with the mother of his children is friendly because they know it's better to get along than not, and it's best for the kids. I don't know if you worry about them getting back together, but their behavior is not necessarily a sign that this is pending for the future. Of course there are no guarantees in any relationship, and you want to be sure that he and this woman are simply doing the right thing. Some people have children together, and get along despite the fact they don't want to live under the same roof. These kids are 7, and you'd think if there was a chance of them getting back together, it would have happened a long time ago. But if this is a threat to you, even if there is no relationship other than friendship, you'd better get out now. He's not going to abandon this working relationship for the sake of his children for you, or anyone else. Personally, if I thought I was with a loving guy who is attentive and we had common interests and values, I would appreciate the fact he's capable of seeing the bigger picture -- and realized it's best for the kids to show a united front with their mother. Any anger, and bitterness in a relationship where two people share kids is not only harmful to the children, but causes added trouble to the girlfriend of the father to the kids. Women and men can be awfully vindictive when they see that a new woman, or man is in their kids' life. Jealousy can produce nothing but emotional pain and trouble for all concerned. If he's getting along because he doesn't hold a grudge, or whatever reason other than an interest in the mother of his children, you've lucky. It's a much simpler way to live. It's better to get along.
