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So Many Boys, So Little Time!
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/6/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
So I have this best friend and he's a guy. We've been friends for quite a while and our relationship is really strong and close. The other day, I kissed one of his best friends "Ted" and we all had an argument. My BF got angry and said we couldn't be best friends anymore. This made me very upset. A couple days later, the guy I kissed was having a party so I went and we kissed, again, and hung around all night. My best friend didn't talk to me all night. He called me the next day, and we sorted out everything. It was all back to normal, but he still didn't like that his two best friends had a thing for each other. But before we cleared things up, I had been talking to this guy "Jim" for about 2 months -- just as friends, but still flirty. He was at the party, too, but we just said hi and that was it. Jim text me later that night, and I told him my problem with my BF. He gave me advice and was really cool about me kissing "Ted." "Jim" wants to see me, and I really want to see him too. I'm so confused! I like both of these guys, and I can't hurt Ted. My BF will get really angry and, this time, I know I'll lose him for sure. I don't want to lose "Jim" either, because were such good friends and I think he likes me. I have no idea what to do, because I think I like "Jim" more than "Ted" -- even though I know "Ted" really, really likes me. He hasn't had a girlfriend in a while. I'm the next closest thing, and he wants to take our relationship further and become serious. Help me please!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
You are one popular girl! I know a lot of my advice seekers who would love to have your problem. Hey, but that's not you're fault you're a catch. I know the feeling :) I don't see why your BF should be so possessive. Where in the Best Friend handbook does it say you can't see other people? He is, obviously, jealous, and it could be for two reasons: He doesn't want to be left out, or he likes you more than he's letting on. The part about him being angry if you hurt his best friend. I'm not so sure he would care all that much -- especially if he's jealous. And that's terrible insulting to you. You're good enough to be his best friend, but not good enough for his best friend? Interesting. But listen, you have a right to date anyone you want. If he can't handle it, well, I'm sorry. You're living your life, not his, in case you've forgotten. Personally, I would go out with Jim, and take it from there. If you and he hit it off, great. If not, at least you'll know. You say you like him more than Ted, and if it keeps "Mr. Possessive" (your BF), from giving birth to a cow over this, that's good too; although I emphasize that he has no right to do that. Ted isn't going anywhere, and maybe in the time you get the "Jim" relationship settled, your BF will find a girlfriend and back off -- unless he's been secretly hoping that person is you!
So I have this best friend and he's a guy. We've been friends for quite a while and our relationship is really strong and close. The other day, I kissed one of his best friends "Ted" and we all had an argument. My BF got angry and said we couldn't be best friends anymore. This made me very upset. A couple days later, the guy I kissed was having a party so I went and we kissed, again, and hung around all night. My best friend didn't talk to me all night. He called me the next day, and we sorted out everything. It was all back to normal, but he still didn't like that his two best friends had a thing for each other. But before we cleared things up, I had been talking to this guy "Jim" for about 2 months -- just as friends, but still flirty. He was at the party, too, but we just said hi and that was it. Jim text me later that night, and I told him my problem with my BF. He gave me advice and was really cool about me kissing "Ted." "Jim" wants to see me, and I really want to see him too. I'm so confused! I like both of these guys, and I can't hurt Ted. My BF will get really angry and, this time, I know I'll lose him for sure. I don't want to lose "Jim" either, because were such good friends and I think he likes me. I have no idea what to do, because I think I like "Jim" more than "Ted" -- even though I know "Ted" really, really likes me. He hasn't had a girlfriend in a while. I'm the next closest thing, and he wants to take our relationship further and become serious. Help me please!
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
You are one popular girl! I know a lot of my advice seekers who would love to have your problem. Hey, but that's not you're fault you're a catch. I know the feeling :) I don't see why your BF should be so possessive. Where in the Best Friend handbook does it say you can't see other people? He is, obviously, jealous, and it could be for two reasons: He doesn't want to be left out, or he likes you more than he's letting on. The part about him being angry if you hurt his best friend. I'm not so sure he would care all that much -- especially if he's jealous. And that's terrible insulting to you. You're good enough to be his best friend, but not good enough for his best friend? Interesting. But listen, you have a right to date anyone you want. If he can't handle it, well, I'm sorry. You're living your life, not his, in case you've forgotten. Personally, I would go out with Jim, and take it from there. If you and he hit it off, great. If not, at least you'll know. You say you like him more than Ted, and if it keeps "Mr. Possessive" (your BF), from giving birth to a cow over this, that's good too; although I emphasize that he has no right to do that. Ted isn't going anywhere, and maybe in the time you get the "Jim" relationship settled, your BF will find a girlfriend and back off -- unless he's been secretly hoping that person is you!
