Dear Miss Emily:

I have been dating a man for seven months. We see each other on weekends and are exclusive. He is very protective of his cell phone, and it never rings anymore, so I assume he has the volume off. I know it was wrong of me, but I looked at his messages. He sent one to a girl that said 'have fun, be good, send me a pic'. He has said this to me in the past when I have been out with friends. He also had another conversation with a girl he used to date in high school, who lives far away. She referred to him as "Babe" and asked him when he would be in her town again. She also said you can stay with me, and we will just chill. He said I have no plans to travel, but I am spontaneous. It could happen. I guess my question is, should I tell him I looked at his phone? He spends every weekend with me, calls me often, but I consider his texts flirting and hurtful. What is your opinion? My gut tells me he is being dishonest and I am hurting.

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

I assume he's bogged down on workdays, and that's why you only see him weekends? That inflexibility has me wondering what fills his nights on those days. Hum. If you were to tell him you saw those messages, this is what he'd say: "They were innocent. Why don't you trust me?" And he'd probably be extremely irritated that you went into his phone. I do think it's odd his phone is on lock down on the weekends, and he's protective of it (although he wasn't the time you snooped!). That makes me suspicious too. I mean, if everything is on the up and up, why treat your phone like it holds CIA codes? Yes, I think you do have cause for concern. An exclusive relationship by your definition means seeing no one else, and you have nothing to hide. To him, it means showing up on weekends, keeping in touch during the week, and having connections with other women. To what degree, you do not know. But from the girl he dated in high school who said, "You can stay with me and just chill" well, it sounds just a little too cozy for my taste, and I think you feel that way too. Keep your eyes, and ears open. At some time, you might want to clarify what "exclusive" means to him. You know what it means to you.