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In Love With Best Friend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/4/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily,
Hi, i am a 20 year old female, and i need advice bad. i have/had this best guy friend and we have been friends for over 7years. He's been there for me through just about everything, and has been the only constant friend in my life. We have a very complex friendship. The best way to explain it would be, if you have read the Twilight saga, if i were Bella he is my Jacob... does that make any sense at all? He's been "in love" with me for a while and he's admitted it on several occasions. i have never been in love with him like that. I mean, i used to have feelings for him and we almost dated 3 years ago, but didn't. Anyway, back to the point. About a week or so ago, he messaged me and said that he was tired of the crap between us and he wishes we weren't friends. I don't know where it was coming from because i thought things were good with him and me. I really miss him but am too afraid to contact him... PLEASE i don't know what to do... HELP
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
Hi, i am a 20 year old female, and i need advice bad. i have/had this best guy friend and we have been friends for over 7years. He's been there for me through just about everything, and has been the only constant friend in my life. We have a very complex friendship. The best way to explain it would be, if you have read the Twilight saga, if i were Bella he is my Jacob... does that make any sense at all? He's been "in love" with me for a while and he's admitted it on several occasions. i have never been in love with him like that. I mean, i used to have feelings for him and we almost dated 3 years ago, but didn't. Anyway, back to the point. About a week or so ago, he messaged me and said that he was tired of the crap between us and he wishes we weren't friends. I don't know where it was coming from because i thought things were good with him and me. I really miss him but am too afraid to contact him... PLEASE i don't know what to do... HELP
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
To be that close, yet so far apart, is one of life's little, and often tragic ironies. So many of the elements of a great romantic relationship are there -- but, obviously, a big one for you is missing -- attraction. And that is an important element. I would think (by what you have said) he is consumed by what he doesn't have with you and has projected his anger and frustration on to you. "I'm tired of the crap", more than likely, exemplifies his anger that you do not love him in the same way. Reaching out to him does not solve the problem of his intense love for you, but I would, definitely, try. It may be that he can no longer be in the relationship because it's become too painful for him. I get many letters from people who are in love with their best friend (one-sided), and I often advise that they start to distance themselves because of the emotional pain of being in the relationship. They really need to free themselves in order to seek out a relationship where the feelings are reciprocated. But, again, do contact him. This needs to be discussed, if possible, to come to some conclusion. A conclusion that may be painful for both of you, but it needs a resolution in order to move forward. I am so sorry. Please let me know the outcome. I care.
