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Best Friend's Sister
- By Miss Emily
- Published 10/2/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
Hi I am a 40 year old male. I just started seeing my best friend's sister. She was the young, baby sister of my best friend. He past away in the early 90s. Today we talked on facebook and decided to catch up -- so she came to my uncle's house where I was visiting for the weekend. Now we had just met for the first time in 20+ years, and she hugged me and we kissed. I mean kissed! We talked and kissed for about the whole 2 and half hours. It was great. I felt it click and I'm pretty sure it clicked for her too. So here's the problem: We met up again at her place. We had a nice visit. I met her kids, and they were all great. We made out, again, only this time it almost goes all the way. Now I'm thinking this is getting serious -- at least for me. The passion is there. I mean, it felt real to me. Then she's calling this "friends" and wants to see where it leads. Okay, I'm confused as to where her mind and heart is in this situation. I don't want to be her sex buddy. I'm looking for more than that. What should I do to continue ? Or how do I go about it the right way? I am the serious one, and she wants to too, but she wants to be friends first. Hmm? Any advise would help.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
I think it would be a good idea to pay attention to what she says, rather than what she does. You really started off with a bang. I know it's hard to go back and regroup, but I think you should. At least try. Not just because she wants the "friends" first relationship, but you haven't seen each other in twenty years. Catching up and forming a connection in the now, rather than memories from the past, can't be done overnight. This is your deceased BF's sister, and I'm sure the connection of that, alone, is overwhelming -- and this is certainly a chance to return to the past. But you don't truly know the "adult" woman. It's a little surprising that you and she were intimate right off the bat. I'm aware that there are no set rules, but it seems too fast to sustain without a newer foundation than your past knowledge of each other. I would suggest some outings where a bedroom isn't in close proximity. Get to know each other. Talk about what you both want for your futures. For all you know, she has an annoying habit you can't abide, and vice versa. The fact you want more, this soon, has me concerned. The last thing you want to do is appear needy. That's going to be off-putting if she's thinking friends first. "Act in haste, repent in leisure."
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------------
I think it would be a good idea to pay attention to what she says, rather than what she does. You really started off with a bang. I know it's hard to go back and regroup, but I think you should. At least try. Not just because she wants the "friends" first relationship, but you haven't seen each other in twenty years. Catching up and forming a connection in the now, rather than memories from the past, can't be done overnight. This is your deceased BF's sister, and I'm sure the connection of that, alone, is overwhelming -- and this is certainly a chance to return to the past. But you don't truly know the "adult" woman. It's a little surprising that you and she were intimate right off the bat. I'm aware that there are no set rules, but it seems too fast to sustain without a newer foundation than your past knowledge of each other. I would suggest some outings where a bedroom isn't in close proximity. Get to know each other. Talk about what you both want for your futures. For all you know, she has an annoying habit you can't abide, and vice versa. The fact you want more, this soon, has me concerned. The last thing you want to do is appear needy. That's going to be off-putting if she's thinking friends first. "Act in haste, repent in leisure."
