Dear Miss Emily:

I've been dating this guy for about 3 months, now, and we are going great and are really falling for each other. But the problem is that from the start I knew that his ex from about half a year ago is pregnant with his child. Lately, we haven't really discussed it. I've kind of forgotten about it for a while but i'ts beginning to come up in my mind recently. When we did discuss it at the beginning of the relationship. I told him I don't wanna be with him if it's getting in the middle of anything with his ex, or if he's just going out with me to piss this girl off, a rebound, or if he still has feelings for her/loves her because i know that they had a very on and off hate/love relationship. But he finally put an end to the drama fest with his ex before he met me, and BEFORE he knew that his ex was pregnant.  He told me straight out that he hates her and doesnt want anything to do with his her or the child ever. He seemed very certain about it when he spoke about it, and very clear that he doesnt want a baby with her. She is still going ahead with the baby and having it, trying to trap him and get him back. This is why he doesnt want to have anything to do with the baby to show her she can't trap him and won't. I know for sure he doesn't speak to her because I'm always with him, and if he does speak with her he shows me every message. He is not a bad person and, overall, a really good guy with a good heart. He is just trapped in this situation and doesnt know what to do, and i dont know how I can help. His ex also is very immature and tries to abuse me. What should I do?

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

You're in a real pickle. I know you think your guy is a great guy, but he's got a baby on the way and to take it out on this child does not speak well of him. It took two to get pregnant -- although I'm willing to concede that there are some brainless females who think they can trap a man by getting pregnant under the guise of taking oral contraceptives. If that's the case, it is a shame. But given a chance, water seeks its own level, too. I'm not sure you know him well enough to be sure he and this girl don't have some things in common. If he wasn't tricked, and just careless, he's an equal party to this pregnancy -- and I'm not sure you know the whole story. But whether he wants anything to do with this child, or not, he is financially obligated to pay his share of child support if she takes him to court -- and she probably will. And if he does not honor his financial obligation, the court will garnish his wages to pay child support. The state does not want to pick up the tab for two people who screwed up (pardon the pun) if it doesn't have to. It is possible that he could change his mind if he sees the baby, but you seem to think he's wedded to the idea of ignoring this woman and the child. Okay, that may be, but only time will tell on that score. Many children locate their MIA parents down the line. The Internet is a great aid in that quest. You just can't be absolutely sure, right now, what lay ahead. People do change their mind in cases like this, and I don't want you to have blinders on. In most respects, you can't help. If this girl is harassing you, however, you can file a restraining order against her. Sometimes a legal move is your only recourse. You've bitten off a lot with this guy, and it's not going to be smooth sailing. But it appears you know that already, right? Once you see the slightest indication that this relationship is going to be more trouble than it's worth, run, don't walk to the nearest exit.