- Home
- Relationships - Teens
- Meddle No More!
Meddle No More!
- By Miss Emily
- Published 09/10/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Miss Emily,
Well, I have this guy friend that I've known for years but we only started drifting together when we started high school. During freshman year, he and I were in the same fairly big circle of friends. We were not what you could consider as really close friends, but we were close enough to talk to each other without feeling awkward. As my friend and I became a bit closer, he became much closer to another girl. I have nothing against her, I love her to death. I never really paid much attention to their relationship until much lately. And this year, the inevitable junior year and the prom that comes along with it is my latest frustration. I set the both of them up for prom. I convinced them that they were the perfect pair for the event. I couldn'tn't even believe that I was able to pull the entire act since it was hard to catch them separately because they were together most of the time. It took me almost half of the summer to make the initial headway. But I just noticed that while I was doing it, I felt slightly uncomfortable inside. At first, I ignored it thinking it was just because the event was looming and I didn't have a date, or an invite yet. And here I was, successfully setting up two people. And today I found out that two days ago, without telling anyone, they are going to the prom together. When they came to tell me, they were both looking so guilty. And before they even said anything, I felt my cheeks heat up and I started crying. I know that when I'm mad I cry, but I think that was just half of the reason because when I tried to convince myself this was the case, I didn't feel fully satisfied. I wans't mad at them, I was mad at the fact that I started the whole thing and they didn't think to tell me until two days later. I mean, shouldn't they at least prioritize me? So now my question is, do I like my friend? Not as a close friend but as a boyfriend material? And am I jealous of their whole relationship?
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
Well, I have this guy friend that I've known for years but we only started drifting together when we started high school. During freshman year, he and I were in the same fairly big circle of friends. We were not what you could consider as really close friends, but we were close enough to talk to each other without feeling awkward. As my friend and I became a bit closer, he became much closer to another girl. I have nothing against her, I love her to death. I never really paid much attention to their relationship until much lately. And this year, the inevitable junior year and the prom that comes along with it is my latest frustration. I set the both of them up for prom. I convinced them that they were the perfect pair for the event. I couldn'tn't even believe that I was able to pull the entire act since it was hard to catch them separately because they were together most of the time. It took me almost half of the summer to make the initial headway. But I just noticed that while I was doing it, I felt slightly uncomfortable inside. At first, I ignored it thinking it was just because the event was looming and I didn't have a date, or an invite yet. And here I was, successfully setting up two people. And today I found out that two days ago, without telling anyone, they are going to the prom together. When they came to tell me, they were both looking so guilty. And before they even said anything, I felt my cheeks heat up and I started crying. I know that when I'm mad I cry, but I think that was just half of the reason because when I tried to convince myself this was the case, I didn't feel fully satisfied. I wans't mad at them, I was mad at the fact that I started the whole thing and they didn't think to tell me until two days later. I mean, shouldn't they at least prioritize me? So now my question is, do I like my friend? Not as a close friend but as a boyfriend material? And am I jealous of their whole relationship?
-----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------------
"Do I like my friend -- not as a close friend but as a boyfriend material? And am I jealous of Nicole and their whole relationship?" It's hard to say on the first question, but I think the answer is yes to the second one. You don't have a date (or didn't), and you feel slighted. Now, the fact you got involved to this degree troubles me. You're going to have to learn to butt out of other people's business and concentrate on your own life. To think that you made this a mission during half the summer was not rational. It begs the question: Why weren't you concentrating on things in your own life, instead of putting all this effort into theirs? And that's what you really have to take a look at. You can't go back and change this outcome -- one that you helped create, or facilitated, but you need to accept it now, and move forward. There is certainly the chance that these two would have figured out that going to the prom together was a nifty idea, and anything you did was nothing more than meddling. The fact that they felt guilty for not telling you right away, is absurd. If you had wanted it in earnest, you should have been happy for them. But whether your friend, or not, you're going to have to step back and leave these two to figure out the relationship for themselves. In the future, mind your own business on these matters. And not so much because no one appointed you "matchmaker" but to save yourself future grief.
