Dear Miss Emily:

I met this girl who one of my friends used to be involved with. We've been hanging out a lot recently and I've really grown to like her. We've talked about becoming more than just sexually involved, but we wanted to give it time and see how everything plays out. My friend, however, the one that she used to be involved with, has noticed her and me spending a lot of time together and I know that he doesn't like the idea of us being together. I'm very much afraid that he will try to keep her from deciding to be with me. I don't know what kind of influence he can have on her decision, but I just need advice on how I can continue to hold her attention.

--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

How you continue to hold her attention is by staying the "charming" you. If he's able to have some influence in a decision she would make, well, maybe you dodged a bullet -- at least for now. You don't seem to care that your friend is upset about this, but rather what kind of control he can have in this matter. I do agree that you have every right to get involved with her. One thing I have learned about life is that no matter how hard you try, sometimes things don't work out. Simple, right? But many people fight that fact of life. Talk to her about this, and see if you and she can have a meeting of the minds. Again, if she can be persuaded to not get involved with you based on anything he would say, an attempt to change her mind, on your part, is demeaning. This isn't a bidding war.