My boyfriend's best friend (a girl), messages and calls him a lot and we fight so many time because of her. Could you let me know what i should do? They are very close. I get jealous because he said he knows her 100%, and they lied to me and went out for dinner, and they have lunch and hang out at school as well. I think they used to have a thing before. Also no one knows if they were best friends before high school. I'm so upset, right now, because she always calls him every time I'm with him and messages him about little things. Please let me know if i should just ignore it, or what should i do? i talked to my boyfriend and he always get angry. He also said there is nothing between them, and if I investigate that means I don't trust him and his feelings will change. Please let me know. I really need your advice.

------------------Miss Emily's advice------------

You seem to be at his mercy, and that's wrong. You are supposed to be his girlfriend -- not some sidekick he has around when the mood strikes. I get many letter like this, and I tell my advice seekers that it's all right for a boyfriend, or girlfriend to have friends of the opposite sex -- but they should be included when possible, not excluded. That makes you feel alienated, he doesn't seem to care and you have to ask yourself why is he this selfish? I am sure he would not like it if the situation were reversed. He says you should trust him, but he seems to enjoy this girl friend's company so much, it's a wonder they aren't together! And even if you were to trust him, who wants to have a boyfriend who's lying about his whereabouts because he'd prefer to be with his best friend -- male, or female? He isn't being sensitive to your feelings, and that's the bottom line. If this were me, I'd tell him to take a hike. I know you care for him, but he's showing you no respect, and respect is the cornerstone of a good relationship. You can complain all you want, and now he thinks you're a nag, but if you continue, he will go his separate way. And jealousy is a wasted emotion, because it solves nothing. Again, you may be justified in your concerns, but he doesn't feel that way, and I don't think he's going to change.