Dear Miss Emily:

I don't know how to start. I love my husband very much, and I felt he loved me too; but i don't think so now. It's difficult because i dont know if i can tell everything. For months I will love him with all my heart and keep him very happy, but just 1 day we fight he will pick up the phone, call his parents and tell them how unhappy he is with the marriage. I love him soo much that I can handle him hitting me and even abusing me, but I can't handle him calling his parents in every fight and speaking like I've spoiled his life. Doesn't husband and wife have fights? Now it's happened too many times that I can't handle it. I have loved him so dearly that I left my parents for him. Have I done wrong in marriage to him? What should i do now?  I need help badly. I am losing trust.

------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

You love, or think you love an abusive, and controlling monster. He does not love you. He loves the idea of being in control and wielding his power to make you feel like a second-class citizen to him. He tells his parents so he can "spread the word" that you are a failure as a wife, and he is an innocent. He needs their support in order to continue his abuse -- free of any guilt on his part, and he can blame you for the pain he inflicts upon you. In other words, he's thinking "she deserves this. She makes me do this to her." It's classic abuse. It shouldn't matter that he is calling his parents, as much as it should matter that you have no life of your own and he is holding you captive. I don't know where you live, but in the United States, he would be in jail. Domestic abuse is not uncommon, but doing something about it is a different story. Nothing will change unless you change it. The fact is, and I repeat, he does not love you. He sees you as something he can control and humiliate to make him feel power over another human being -- a woman. That is not love, it's hate. If I were you, I'd leave him and go home to my parents. You have found out, now, that they were right about him if they objected to this marriage. But I would rather realize I had made a mistake than end up dead. And that is often the case. Abused women are often killed, or seriously injured by their abusive husbands. Your call, but I fear for you, and you should be afraid, as well.