I'm a 38 y/o happily married full-time nurse with a 3 1/2 old girl and a 15 month boy. My mother-in-law volunteered to babysit for free at my house when I work mon-tues-weds. My mother babysits if i work Fridays. Thursdays they go to daycare. My MIL constantly has her daughter and her 4 kids over while at my house. I never felt safe with a 74 y/o MIL watching all these children -- ages 10, 8, 6 and 5. The 8 year old has downs syndrome and is extra busy. Not always 6 total children but always more than my 2. I have expressed my grief to my husband, and he tells me he is happy and I am crazy and leave well enough alone. So, yesterday, I come home to find hot pink nail polish all over my upstairs carpet. My 3 1/2 y/o, a 5y/o and my 15 month old were left alone up there and climbed into bathroom cabinet (that is very high-I need a step stool) and got it out. MIL and SIL never apolozied or called me. I am thankful no one drank the polish or even worse. Am I wrong to call my MIL and tell her to only watch my 2 kids when at my house? My husband thinks I am selfish and lashed out at my family who has their own issues. HELP! i feel trapped and dont want to start a war buy this is a chronic issue.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
Of course you're not in the wrong. This is far too many children for a 74 year-old woman to watch, and I don't care if she's in the senior Olympics! In fact, that's too many children for anyone to watch and insure absolute safety. It's nice that you say you're happily married, but I think your husband is not putting you and his children first and, in my opinion it's negligent, self-serving and insensitive. Your children come first, and it has nothing to do with family loyalty other than the loyalty you and he have to your children. This is a tough one, because you may make some enemies, but I would rather have a list of enemies than a child in the hospital seriously injured because no one had the guts to put this right. Again, your husband is acting like a "but what about your family?" teenager when it comes to a serious matter relating to the welfare of his children. Tell your mother-in-law you want only your children in the home when you are not there, or look for other arrangements. End of discussion!