Dear Miss Emily,
 
I really need some advice as I am deeply confused and troubled about the current disposition I am in. I have a beautiful 7 month year old daughter with a man I am not in a relationship with. I have known him for over a year, and he only found out when she was four months old that we had a child together. He sees her once a week and says he loves her. I will admit, I am very much in love with this man; however, I am in a relationship with another man whom I have fallen out of love with.  I don't get on with his family as they are rude and disrespectful towards me. The chemistry just isn't there between us anymore. I don't even want to be intimate with him, but it also has a lot to do with how I feel about my daughter's father. Every time I see him he always wants to cuddle kiss and get close to me. A few months ago he said he wanted to be a family with us, but he hasn't brought it up since he knows I have someone. He does seem jealous as he's always asking how things are going between us and so on. W'henever me and my daughters father are together the chemistry is so intense. Wwe have been intimate, as,well. He also treats me like a queen-- like if my back is sore he will go out of his way to make me feel better, and he dotes on me a lot. He doesn't know how I feel about him, and I'm not sure how he feels about me. I'm scared if I tell him I love him he could run away. He blows hot and cold a lot, which confuses me deeply. I just wish I knew how he felt about me. His actions speak a lot but I'm not sure if it's enough. I have asked how he feels about me and he was very vague ,and said you have a boyfriend which doesn't help me a lot. What do I do? Is he playing mind games with me, or does he really want me but won't make a move because I have a man?

----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

I can't say for sure what he wants, but I think you need to politely tell your present boyfriend you want to call it quits. For one, it's not fair to him to think he's your number one guy, and he's getting closer to you and your baby. It will be harder on him down the line to separate from you if he is attached to your daughter. As well, his family probably isn't happy with seeing their son, or loved one with a woman who had a child with a man who only found out he was a father four months ago. Mothers have a way of being protective of their little boys! Have the courage to be on your own for a while. And, sure, see the father of your child during that time --but make no hasty commitment. He's made plenty of overtures in the past, and you've shown your interest in him, but he can't possibly know how you really feel if your boyfriend is in the picture. And you aren't going to know what he wants until you've been single for a while and show some real effort in wanting to be with him and form a family unit. If it doesn't work out, okay. But at least you went about it in an honest way. Let your boyfriend go, and open up the possibility of being with the man you say you love.