- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Interracial Couple
Interracial Couple
- By Miss Emily
- Published 08/17/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily,
I am 21 years old and I have been dating a certain guy for 2 months. He's great, I have never dated anyone like him before. He's kind, caring, and we may be falling in love. There's one thing though, I'm white and he's black. My mom knows I just like him, she doesn't know I am dating him or that I am falling in love. She says my father will disown me and dating a black guy is like dating a married man. This breaks my heart. What do I do? I really like him. All the other guys I dated just weren't right -- something was missing. There's chemistry between me and this guy. We just click. We aren't just interested in each other for sex, that I can promise. What do I do though? I don't want to stop dating him but I can't think of my family shunning me. Do I seriously have to run away, or wait until we're done with college and can afford things on our own -- then I can just leave my family as much as that hurts to think about?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
My heart breaks for you because racism is wrong and you know it -- sadly your parents don't. This is a problem that goes back to the beginning of time. Although movies and television often show interracial couples, some in our society haven't caught up. Your mother's threat may be empty, and she and your father might come around, rather than lose their daughter but, right now, you don't know that. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a possibility that they will not. Although the saying "love conquers all" is nice in sentiment, it is often not reality. Life is a series of choices -- and some of them do not have happy endings. You run the risk of falling more in love with this guy the longer you stay with him, and that you must consider. But were you to choose to stay, and you risk being cut off financially by mom and dad, it's best to keep this relationship on the down-low and drop the bomb after you have your degree and can financially take care of yourself. Again, perhaps your parents will come around, but don't risk college and alienation now. It would be prudent to move carefully.
I am 21 years old and I have been dating a certain guy for 2 months. He's great, I have never dated anyone like him before. He's kind, caring, and we may be falling in love. There's one thing though, I'm white and he's black. My mom knows I just like him, she doesn't know I am dating him or that I am falling in love. She says my father will disown me and dating a black guy is like dating a married man. This breaks my heart. What do I do? I really like him. All the other guys I dated just weren't right -- something was missing. There's chemistry between me and this guy. We just click. We aren't just interested in each other for sex, that I can promise. What do I do though? I don't want to stop dating him but I can't think of my family shunning me. Do I seriously have to run away, or wait until we're done with college and can afford things on our own -- then I can just leave my family as much as that hurts to think about?
-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
My heart breaks for you because racism is wrong and you know it -- sadly your parents don't. This is a problem that goes back to the beginning of time. Although movies and television often show interracial couples, some in our society haven't caught up. Your mother's threat may be empty, and she and your father might come around, rather than lose their daughter but, right now, you don't know that. I am sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but there is a possibility that they will not. Although the saying "love conquers all" is nice in sentiment, it is often not reality. Life is a series of choices -- and some of them do not have happy endings. You run the risk of falling more in love with this guy the longer you stay with him, and that you must consider. But were you to choose to stay, and you risk being cut off financially by mom and dad, it's best to keep this relationship on the down-low and drop the bomb after you have your degree and can financially take care of yourself. Again, perhaps your parents will come around, but don't risk college and alienation now. It would be prudent to move carefully.
