You are kind of my last resort, so here goes nothing. Me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 5 years. I do love him but I don't love some of the things he does. Like right now it is 12:42 am! He told me he was going out to mail a letter and he would be right back. He left at 10pm. So I call his cell at about 11pm and he tells me he is on his way back. I call at 12:30 and he is out at a friends house. He answers and pretends not to hear me. I call back and he does the same thing. I call a third time and now the phone is turned off. We have had this conversation too many times before. If I were to do that to him, my God he would burst a vein in his head. I worry a lot. Not about him cheating on me, because I do trust him. I worry about his safety which I admit is maybe a little overprotective but if you lived in my neighborhood you probably would never let your bf walk the block. All I ask from him is that he call and check in with me so I know he is alright. NOT TO MENTION THAT HE LIED ABOUT BEING ON HIS WAY HOME! I'm really starting to become unhappy in this relationship and I don't know if it's my fault, or his fault. Please help me Miss Emily!!

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

The only way it would be partly your fault is if you treat him like a child, nag at him, and he sees you as suffocating him because of your controlling ways. He's an adult, and he doesn't need a second mother. But for him to say he is going out to mail a letter and, then, turn it into a social evening with friends, is wrong, and utterly disrespectful. Now, maybe from his point of view, and it's childish, he thinks like a kid: I'll just tell "mom" I'm going out to mail a letter. I'll pull my passive-aggressive behavior on her -- but still get my way even though she'll be pissed. I'll do the cell phone tag, answer, deceive, and then turn off the phone. That will show her I'm no kid (even though he's acting like one despite his inability to see it), and I can do what I please. So there! An emotionally weak guy (in this case), and one who may feel badgered, doesn't have the courage to stand up for himself and what he wants and, therefore, sneaks around like a rat in the daylight. I don't know if this relationship has run its course, but you and he need to have a new understanding if it's is to continue because it's reached the point where the aggravation outweighs any good in it. Ask him to be honest with you about where he goes, but to check in. You don't care if he wants the freedom to be with his buds, but common courtesy, because you love him, is part of a loving, trusting relationship. If that doesn't work, and his patterns do not change (because the die is cast and that's how you and he relate), I would strongly consider breaking up. Relationships stay together, or they don't. Bottom line: If you don't have trust, and respect, you don't have anything.