Dear Miss Emily:

HI! My boyfriend (26 years old) and I (24 years old) have been together for over 3 years.  We've been living together for about 7 months.  He has a hard time keeping a job, and I get stuck with paying for everything.  He keeps a job for about two months and then it's back to me being the supporter.  Since we've moved in together he has had a job and been able to help pay for bills (rent, electric, groceries, gas, etc) about 3 out of the 7 months we've been there.  I have no idea how he is always unemployed.  I'm to the point where I can't even afford my own bills (car insurance, cell phone, credit card, student loan, etc.)  We are most likely going to move back to our parents' house just so Im not struggling so much.  My question is what should I do in this relationship?  Do you think it will ever change or am I going to have to support him for the rest of my life?

-------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

This is a time to do some soul searching, and whether you should even stay in this relationship. The unemployment rate is high, I get it, but you seem to be telling me your boyfriend can't hold a job. Moving back home is a good idea, and make sure he doesn't come with you. That will be a time to distance yourself, a bit, and the resentment will lessen. That, of course, is also the time you'll decide if you respect your boyfriend enough to even continue the relationship. If you ever planned marriage, I think you're getting a taste of what that would be like. He seems to not mind that you've been carrying the weight of the bills. He's taken you for granted and, sadly, you've let it happen. I don't know whether the dynamics of this relationship will change, the die may already be cast, but he needs to learn to stand on his own two feet in order for you to take him seriously as a committed partner and, possible, future husband. I think, what you see is what you get with him and, now, you know first hand by living with him what his potential is -- at least at this time in his life. Again, reevaluate, regroup, and put a distance between you and him. You may love him, but love doesn't pay the bills. To make a relationship work well, you need trust, respect, common interests and values, and open-communication. It's a partnership! Right now, you're little more than a parent who's taking care of him.