Dear Miss Emily:

Hey there, I'm a 20 year old guy who just started getting into drinking recently. My girlfriend, who is no stranger to drinking and partying, has told me that I'm meaner when I drink. My friends and I have realized that I'm just more honest and don't hold back. I've been with this girl for almost 2 years, now, and partying is something we both do. I've been with her for almost two years, and I don't want to lose her. Any suggestions on dealing with this situation?

--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------------

I think you want a magic elixir that allows you to drink and not be held responsible for your behavior. You're asking me to choose between your girlfriend's opinion, and your friends, and that would be hard to do. I think, even if you do consider yourself an honest, and a "no holds barred" sort of guy when drinking, that doesn't mean you don't come off as a pompous ass, at times. Most often, honesty is nothing more than an opinion. Drinking is a chance, for some people, to drop inhibitions and let out the beast, so to speak -- to become the person he, or she doesn't have the courage to be sober. It's certainly possible that you are a mean drunk, and your honesty cuts like a knife. There's no honor in that! It's also possible that your friends are telling you what you want to hear.  If you think your drinking is worth losing your girlfriend over, so be it. But it might be wise to temper your drinking when you're around her -- pace yourself -- in order to save this relationship. After all, you do care a great deal for her, and it would be a nice gesture to be sensitive to her feelings. It's also good to keep your liver from being taxed too much. We only have one, although some drinkers think they have a spare!