Dear Miss Emily:

I have been wondering if my boyfriend and I are compatible for each other. I'm more laid back and he is more party go-er "social drinker". We just spend the weekend partying and drinking. He tells me, today, we should do something different. I mention a spa and he mentions a local after work bar. He said makes us seem. I'm just, in thought, like --  didn't he mention he wanted to do something different? I guess he meant a different drinking spot. It's not just that. I have a dream of living somewhere warm, or at least a place a little less chaotic from NY. He doesn't seem as interested as me. Do I need to rethink this relationship? He is a great man other then these two things that often come up in our relationship together.

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

Where you live, and the things you like to do are two very important aspects of your life -- and to suppress them will cause big problems down the line. Values, and common interests are two key elements in a successful, long-term relationship. Now, if you want something quieter than New York City, you don't want to endlessly talk about it and, then, when you're sixty regret you hadn't done it. It can be a big adjustment to relocate (some culture shock), and your partner has to be as committed to the idea of leaving the big city, as you -- and what lay ahead. He may be a great man, and I'm sure he's lucky to have you in his life. That said, if your goals, and how you want to spend your down time differ to this degree, I see this relationship as one that will eventually end. Never compromise your wants and desires, unless you can put a smile on your face when you do. The gain has to outweigh the loss.