Dear Miss Emily:

Wel,l I've been dating this guy for almost a year now. I'm 18 and he's 25.  He treats me so well and we have so much in common, more than anybody else I've ever met.  He's not just my boyfriend, he's my best friend too (I really don't have that many friends/have trouble making friends).  Besides my family disapproving of our relationship, the only other problem is that he doesn't have a job, and has to stay with his friends who he cannot pay rent to.. He's only ever had 2 or 3 jobs his whole life, so getting one is extremely difficult for him.  He doesn't even have an ID card, and unless he gives up his foodstamps, he can't get one.  Im pretty sure people look down on me for dating him, but I'm so happy with him.  Please give me your honest opinion on my situation! Thank you for your time. <3

---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

I don't doubt that he is a good person, and you are happy with him -- but he has no ambition and is at the mercy of other people to help him get by in life. That's not good for him, and bad for you if you want someone who is a capable, and an emotionally stable guy who has a work ethic. It doesn't bother you, now, but were you to stay with him for any length of time, I assume it will. Because you are 18, you are more accepting of his lifestyle. Were you his age, and you were holding down a full-time job, I think it would create a fissure in the relationship. Perhaps he has a case of arrested development. It so, let's hope it's a passing phase, for his sake, first and foremost. People may look down at you for not shooting higher, but it's you who, ultimately, has to be happy with your choices in life and be responsible for them.