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Teen Virgin Has Questions
- By Miss Emily
- Published 07/21/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm 18, and have been casually going on dates with a guy. The problem is, I have a crazy crush on my 24 year old co-worker. We both flirt and I think there might really be something there. Do I keep seeing my sort-of-boyfriend, which feels sorta wrong when i have feelings for this other guy and I don't know if it will ever pan out. Also - I'm a virgin and, despite being an atheist, I was brought up with the whole "save sex for marriage spiel" and decided to at least save it somewhat- but do guys really like sleeping with virgins....doesnt that add a certain level of responsibility to sex that they might not be after?
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
First of all, I don't think we can pigeonhole guys, as tempting as it is -- in other words, some might like the idea of "deflowering" a female, some may be nervous about it, and others might simply wonder how it's possible to wait that long! It really is up to you, and how you view the whole process of being in a relationship and the meanings you attach to it. I would not stay with a boy I wasn't that interested in. It doesn't matter if something happens with this guy at work, or not, it's a matter of respect. If the boy you're dating is really into the relationship (you), you do him no service by staying with him. He's not a charity case. And he should have the right to see someone who has mutual feelings. If something were to happen with this guy at work (and he's not just the flirtatious type who spreads it on thick), you are going to be faced, more than likely, with how far you want to go with him, sexually. He's 24 and, more than likely, has had intercourse, but you can't really know unless you knew him well enough for that to come up (in my mind, I see that as a pun). A 24 year-old guy can be persuasive, and if you intend to remain a virgin, for whatever duration, you simply need to express your feelings up-front.
I'm 18, and have been casually going on dates with a guy. The problem is, I have a crazy crush on my 24 year old co-worker. We both flirt and I think there might really be something there. Do I keep seeing my sort-of-boyfriend, which feels sorta wrong when i have feelings for this other guy and I don't know if it will ever pan out. Also - I'm a virgin and, despite being an atheist, I was brought up with the whole "save sex for marriage spiel" and decided to at least save it somewhat- but do guys really like sleeping with virgins....doesnt that add a certain level of responsibility to sex that they might not be after?
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
First of all, I don't think we can pigeonhole guys, as tempting as it is -- in other words, some might like the idea of "deflowering" a female, some may be nervous about it, and others might simply wonder how it's possible to wait that long! It really is up to you, and how you view the whole process of being in a relationship and the meanings you attach to it. I would not stay with a boy I wasn't that interested in. It doesn't matter if something happens with this guy at work, or not, it's a matter of respect. If the boy you're dating is really into the relationship (you), you do him no service by staying with him. He's not a charity case. And he should have the right to see someone who has mutual feelings. If something were to happen with this guy at work (and he's not just the flirtatious type who spreads it on thick), you are going to be faced, more than likely, with how far you want to go with him, sexually. He's 24 and, more than likely, has had intercourse, but you can't really know unless you knew him well enough for that to come up (in my mind, I see that as a pun). A 24 year-old guy can be persuasive, and if you intend to remain a virgin, for whatever duration, you simply need to express your feelings up-front.
