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His Turn To Do It His Way
- By Miss Emily
- Published 07/7/2011
- Relationships - Men
Hi there Emily,
I started dating one of my best friends in around 2008.
Ever since then i can say that i felt what at least i would call love.
During that times, things were okay. She moved to overseas during that time and things changed. i was monogamous, here, and I have never cheated in my life - hoping she would do the same. A couple months into this, she had told me she had cheated on me and wanted to break up. I was upset about that, and I guess we kept somewhat contact, then she started seeing another person. After that, she came back and said she still wanted to be with me, i accepted this until she moved back again to see them.
A couple months passed and I got 'They're not the same as you' and she came back and I thought ' Why not she learnt what she had to'. But something was different. During the time she was away, i got so much done. I can't say i was much of a party person as I was with her, but it allowed me to focus on everything I wanted to do. Things started to get rocky again, and there had been breaks ups, again, so i decided to put my foot down. We have not been talking now for a few weeks, and she wants to get back together, again, hoping if we work through it we can have what we want again. I'm reluctant to do this, i dont want to risk losing my best friend, but I don't want to risk being unhappy in something again so soon after all that has happened. I'm not sure in a way to tell her that will destroy her. Mainly, I just want to focus on myself, and really just enjoy my life. In a relationship I felt locked down. In the time we have been broken up, I've managed to accomplish everything I set during that relationship but never got time for. I just dont want to break her heart or do anything stupid.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
It's kind of you to think about her heart, but your heart has taken a real beating throughout her many fickle periods that still may not have ended. I think you're an incredibly tolerant and loving man, and that is why you are concerned about how she will take a stance you have every right to make. Please do not go against what you feel in your heart and mind is the right thing to do. Your relationship with her has been very precarious, and that is why you fear telling her the truth. But it is the fact it has been precarious that has led you to the place you are now at. She may lack the maturity in accepting how you feel, and there may be a great deal of selfishness on her part that would allow her to feel offended that you are not willing to do it her way, but that cannot, or should not be the reason for you backing down. If you do, I have a feeling you'll regret that decision.
I started dating one of my best friends in around 2008.
Ever since then i can say that i felt what at least i would call love.
During that times, things were okay. She moved to overseas during that time and things changed. i was monogamous, here, and I have never cheated in my life - hoping she would do the same. A couple months into this, she had told me she had cheated on me and wanted to break up. I was upset about that, and I guess we kept somewhat contact, then she started seeing another person. After that, she came back and said she still wanted to be with me, i accepted this until she moved back again to see them.
A couple months passed and I got 'They're not the same as you' and she came back and I thought ' Why not she learnt what she had to'. But something was different. During the time she was away, i got so much done. I can't say i was much of a party person as I was with her, but it allowed me to focus on everything I wanted to do. Things started to get rocky again, and there had been breaks ups, again, so i decided to put my foot down. We have not been talking now for a few weeks, and she wants to get back together, again, hoping if we work through it we can have what we want again. I'm reluctant to do this, i dont want to risk losing my best friend, but I don't want to risk being unhappy in something again so soon after all that has happened. I'm not sure in a way to tell her that will destroy her. Mainly, I just want to focus on myself, and really just enjoy my life. In a relationship I felt locked down. In the time we have been broken up, I've managed to accomplish everything I set during that relationship but never got time for. I just dont want to break her heart or do anything stupid.
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
It's kind of you to think about her heart, but your heart has taken a real beating throughout her many fickle periods that still may not have ended. I think you're an incredibly tolerant and loving man, and that is why you are concerned about how she will take a stance you have every right to make. Please do not go against what you feel in your heart and mind is the right thing to do. Your relationship with her has been very precarious, and that is why you fear telling her the truth. But it is the fact it has been precarious that has led you to the place you are now at. She may lack the maturity in accepting how you feel, and there may be a great deal of selfishness on her part that would allow her to feel offended that you are not willing to do it her way, but that cannot, or should not be the reason for you backing down. If you do, I have a feeling you'll regret that decision.
