Dear Miss Emily:

I'm a near 30 year old, single, attractive woman who has attended a large scale church for over 3 years now. I have not become a member of the church, but I just enjoy the worship and the teaching. The latter part of 2010, I started noticing the pastor gazing in my direction. I perceived that he may have been looking somewhere else, so I would change my sitting arrangements at church to see if it was a figment of my imagination, or if what I was discerning was accurate. Well, I noticed that no matter where I sat, he would stare with no facial expression, but with great tension in his eyes. I also notice that when I stand up during his preaching, he immediately looks away or avoids eye contact. I have never spoken to this man or have no way of comprehending his behavior, or his perceived mood swings. Any Advice.

---------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------

You really can't know. Pastors are not unlike any other person in the world -- human -- and that means they can be odd, as well as religious teachers. He may find you attractive, knows you're not a member and it's a punishing stare, a person that he has affixed his gaze because you actually seem to be listening, or he's got the hots for you -- and he averts his eyes when you stand to not be too obvious. Unless you were to have a discussion with him about this, you are simply left to wonder. But if it annoys you, I'd try to sit in the back of the room, and behind someone who blocks his view. If it's that big a church, it shouldn't be hard to do. Now, all this said, if he's a single man, and you're attracted to him, why not get involved in smaller groups where he might be involved. And, finally, if it creeps you out, and you're detected by him no matter your attempt to become invisible, consider changing the church. A house of worship is not supposed to make you feel uncomfortable.