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Byfriend's Need For Doctor's Intervention
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/28/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm female. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and i love him very much. Throughout that time, he has always suffered from depression and things can become quite difficult, I also suffer from depression, but not to his extent. Over the past few months his moods and ability to function has massively deteriorated and is starting to affect our relationship negatively. It has been suggested that he may have ADD, and we are almost certain he does. He has an appointment next month with a mental health service and promises to do everything he can to get better.
In the meantime, I'm constantly being disappointed and hurt by him not being able to keep promises and plans, and never thinking about the consequences of his actions. Sometimes he won't even contact me when he is not going to keep plans we've made. He just wont show. I'ts also affecting his friendship with his best friend and his studies. I know sometimes he can find it very difficult to face people. I don't want to give up on him because i still love him, deeply, and i know how wonderful he can be. He insists he loves me very much also, but i feel as if everything's falling apart. I understand that it is not entirely his fault, but I'm not sure how much longer i can continue like this. I feel as if I'm giving everything, and not getting enough back. Yet there are times when he can be so lovely, though its not so often at the moment. I feel i need to set boundries, but i dont know how too without asking too much for him to handle. Help?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I advise you to wait until he sees a doctor about his depression and possible ADD. There are medications that can get him on the road to recovery, and you may see a radical change in his behavior after treatment. If you love him as much as you say you do, wait for a diagnosis and the plan to get him on the right track. If he balks, does not take the medication, rejects any form of treatment because he thinks he really doesn't need it, that is the time to let him go. Painful as it may be, these four years will seem like a cakewalk with him if you sign on to any more of this life without answers and a commitment, by him, to get well.
I'm female. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years now and i love him very much. Throughout that time, he has always suffered from depression and things can become quite difficult, I also suffer from depression, but not to his extent. Over the past few months his moods and ability to function has massively deteriorated and is starting to affect our relationship negatively. It has been suggested that he may have ADD, and we are almost certain he does. He has an appointment next month with a mental health service and promises to do everything he can to get better.
In the meantime, I'm constantly being disappointed and hurt by him not being able to keep promises and plans, and never thinking about the consequences of his actions. Sometimes he won't even contact me when he is not going to keep plans we've made. He just wont show. I'ts also affecting his friendship with his best friend and his studies. I know sometimes he can find it very difficult to face people. I don't want to give up on him because i still love him, deeply, and i know how wonderful he can be. He insists he loves me very much also, but i feel as if everything's falling apart. I understand that it is not entirely his fault, but I'm not sure how much longer i can continue like this. I feel as if I'm giving everything, and not getting enough back. Yet there are times when he can be so lovely, though its not so often at the moment. I feel i need to set boundries, but i dont know how too without asking too much for him to handle. Help?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I advise you to wait until he sees a doctor about his depression and possible ADD. There are medications that can get him on the road to recovery, and you may see a radical change in his behavior after treatment. If you love him as much as you say you do, wait for a diagnosis and the plan to get him on the right track. If he balks, does not take the medication, rejects any form of treatment because he thinks he really doesn't need it, that is the time to let him go. Painful as it may be, these four years will seem like a cakewalk with him if you sign on to any more of this life without answers and a commitment, by him, to get well.
