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TIme To Man-up!
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/24/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm currently on a fairly new relationship (2 months) and I really like this girl. I'll do anything for her. I keep finding myself doing stuff for her that I wouldn't do for anybody else (her college homework, cooking for her, buying stuff for her, running errands for her and her daughter, etc etc) pretty much I bend over backwards for her. Recently, we decided to run a 5k with her friends, so I tasked with creating the team and register it on line. I finally created the team and, of course, I registered on line. I sent everybody the invitation to join the team, and she asked me if we were registered. I told her I was registered because I created the team, but everybody else still had to register. Well she then replied ""I" no longer "we" huh! I see" I took a little offense to this comment because it's not the case. I always told her we were a team, so I kind of felt bad and I told her about how I felt. She then commented I was being too sensible, and she wasn't going to apologize and just left. I'm always the one apologizing for all the fights regardless it's my fault or not, but this time I don't know if I should? Do you think I'm being too sensible??? And I should just drop it, and apologize?? Thank you very much for you help, and I look forward for your advce.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
Coming from a girl you've bent over backward to please, it seemed a bit knee-jerk of her to say such a thing. After only two months together "we" is too presumptuous to assume in every aspect of your lives. Of course, you could have registered her, but it was an oversight, and she was the one who initiated the run. You picked up the ball, as usual, and I guess she took offense that you didn't put her first -- and she isn't used to that in this relationship. You could apologize by saying you're sorry you left it for her to register, but it wasn't intentional. I have a feeling that your subservience to her will backfire on you, big-time, and it's starting now. This relationship should be on equal footing, not where you are cooking, cleaning, doing errands for her and her daughter, and homework! You've set a precedent and, now, it's going to be hard to break. You're more like the domestic help who's sleeping with the boss. The dynamic of this relationship is skewed in her favor, and it's time to change it. Do not continue to defend yourself against injustices. Man-up. That's where you garner respect. Calling you "sensible" should not be an indictment against you, but a compliment! Again, you can apologize for the oversight in not registering her for the run, but to continue down the path of inequity in this relationship will put you in the place of feeling a victim, and bitter, when you have the power to change it. Please don't end up blaming her for you being willing to compromise who you are to please her.
--------------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
Coming from a girl you've bent over backward to please, it seemed a bit knee-jerk of her to say such a thing. After only two months together "we" is too presumptuous to assume in every aspect of your lives. Of course, you could have registered her, but it was an oversight, and she was the one who initiated the run. You picked up the ball, as usual, and I guess she took offense that you didn't put her first -- and she isn't used to that in this relationship. You could apologize by saying you're sorry you left it for her to register, but it wasn't intentional. I have a feeling that your subservience to her will backfire on you, big-time, and it's starting now. This relationship should be on equal footing, not where you are cooking, cleaning, doing errands for her and her daughter, and homework! You've set a precedent and, now, it's going to be hard to break. You're more like the domestic help who's sleeping with the boss. The dynamic of this relationship is skewed in her favor, and it's time to change it. Do not continue to defend yourself against injustices. Man-up. That's where you garner respect. Calling you "sensible" should not be an indictment against you, but a compliment! Again, you can apologize for the oversight in not registering her for the run, but to continue down the path of inequity in this relationship will put you in the place of feeling a victim, and bitter, when you have the power to change it. Please don't end up blaming her for you being willing to compromise who you are to please her.
