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Red Flag For Potential Cheating?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/22/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My boyfriend of 4 years and father of my daughter has recently started talking and texting another female. I found out about her on facebook and by seeing flirtatious messages in his phone. I can confidently say he hasn't had sex with her ...well yet... and he does provide for our family and doesn't seem to hide me from his friends or associates. I'm wondering if I should be concerned that they talk everyday for a total of 10 - 15 mins and shes always texting him. He rarely texts back, but he did tell me that she likes him. I've expressed to him that it hurts when they talk but he ensures me that it's nothing and she is the one always calling him. Is this potential for him to leave me? Or should I just let him continue on his "talking" relationship with this other woman and eventually he'll stop? Please help
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
I think what he's doing is inappropriate, and he should know better. He makes it seem as if this is no big deal, yet he corresponds with her everyday. He may think he's being completely on the up-and-up by sharing his opinion with you on this matter, but that's of little consolation to you. I'm wondering how he'd feel if the shoe were on the other foot. If he were okay with it, I question his commitment to you. I know it's a temptation for some people to correspond with strangers of the opposite sex on the Internet, and other forms of communication, but restraint is what keeps us committed, and he seems to have forgotten that. And what about this statement: "But he would never leave his family for a woman that doesn't have anything going for herself, or a job." Am I to infer that if she had a job, and something going for herself he would consider leaving? If she doesn't have anything going for herself -- what's the hook, his ego is being stroked? Monitor his behavior in this respect, because I agree. Something like this can lead to cheating and, now, you have the heads up.
My boyfriend of 4 years and father of my daughter has recently started talking and texting another female. I found out about her on facebook and by seeing flirtatious messages in his phone. I can confidently say he hasn't had sex with her ...well yet... and he does provide for our family and doesn't seem to hide me from his friends or associates. I'm wondering if I should be concerned that they talk everyday for a total of 10 - 15 mins and shes always texting him. He rarely texts back, but he did tell me that she likes him. I've expressed to him that it hurts when they talk but he ensures me that it's nothing and she is the one always calling him. Is this potential for him to leave me? Or should I just let him continue on his "talking" relationship with this other woman and eventually he'll stop? Please help
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
I think what he's doing is inappropriate, and he should know better. He makes it seem as if this is no big deal, yet he corresponds with her everyday. He may think he's being completely on the up-and-up by sharing his opinion with you on this matter, but that's of little consolation to you. I'm wondering how he'd feel if the shoe were on the other foot. If he were okay with it, I question his commitment to you. I know it's a temptation for some people to correspond with strangers of the opposite sex on the Internet, and other forms of communication, but restraint is what keeps us committed, and he seems to have forgotten that. And what about this statement: "But he would never leave his family for a woman that doesn't have anything going for herself, or a job." Am I to infer that if she had a job, and something going for herself he would consider leaving? If she doesn't have anything going for herself -- what's the hook, his ego is being stroked? Monitor his behavior in this respect, because I agree. Something like this can lead to cheating and, now, you have the heads up.
