Dear Miss Emily:

I  met this girl about 8 months ago. We talked off and on, then really started talking about 6 months ago. I fell in love with her and told her. Then she didn't talk to me very much for a month or so, and I being a guy saw that as she wasn't interested. So I moved on, and started dating another girl. A week into dating the other other girl, she said she loves me too. But she said since I was already in a relationship, I should see where it goes 'cause it was her fault that she waited. So I broke up with the girl I was dating, but now she hardly talks to me. Was she just jealous that I was dating someone else, is she having second thoughts, or does she need more time? The last thing she said to me was last week, and it was " How much would it cost me to come up, go hunting and come home?" When she does talk to me, i'ts very short periods of time, and usually through text. And I am the one who always starts the conversation. She did tell me that she has a really bad fear of being hurt (which with her past I don't blame her), and likes to take things slow. We have told each-other things about our past that we wouldn't share with anyone. I do randomly send her flowers, and she says "you don't have to do that" or "don't waste your money on me." But when she gets them, I always get a thank you and a ":-)" What does that mean? Should I give her more time, am I just wasting my time, or should I just stop talking to her and make her come to me? I Don't want to stop talking to her. I did tell her I would give her some space, but how much time should I give her? should I wait until she comes to me?
Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

Maybe she is dealing with self-esteem issues, and hurt from the past, but there aren't a lot of us out there who haven't been there. She made an overture toward you (loves you too), and you acted on good faith thinking that she would be on-board once you were a free agent. Stop sending the flowers, and stop trying to buy her love. You can be friendly with her, but you're not a parent, a counselor, nor a sibling, and you don't want this relationship to turn into anything other than an equal relationship on a level playing field. I think she doesn't know what she wants, and it's futile for you to try and force it. Maybe it hurt her fragile ego to see you with someone else, but that doesn't mean she's capable of a relationship with you. Don't set yourself up for the big hurt by wishing for something that may not come about. Despite her background, she came to you. It is her responsibility to follow through, or not, but to wait in the wings hoping for something that may never happen would be foolish on your part. Rethink your feelings for her, be realistic, and listen to what she says. She may have some problems going on in her life, but you can't solve them by being a Band-aid to the wound. Only she can develop self-esteem by coming to terms with her life, and how to deal with it.