Dear Miss Emily:

Hello, I had a breakup a few months ago and I still feel like I can never move on. I go away to college but when I come home I am a mess. I cry all the time, and I can't stop thinking about him. I know it is because I am home but it also hurts to even hang around my friends at home, because it just reminds me of the old times with him. I know it isn't fair to just stop talking to my friends, but I feel like that is my only option right now. I just feel like no matter what I will always have these feelings when I come home. I also haven't been good as far as cutting him out of my life. I have talked to him and even done things with him like making out and stuff. I guess I just really can't let him go. I guess I just don't know how to even approach other guys and the fear of being alone eats me up. Everyone always says things get better but I have lost faith in that concept. I have had my heart broken and been hurt by so many people. I know I am super sensitive and I feel like that will always be a problem in my life. I just want to know how can one be happy and not let certain people upset them anymore.

--------------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------------

You're not only sensitive, but you're depressed. You are now functioning at such a low level, and you don't seem to care much about your life, or your future. To be consistently hurt by people is more, or less, an issue with you because you're either missing the red flags that are there to inform you to back out of an inadequate relationship, or you subconsciously set yourself up for failure in relationships. Then you are put in the role of victim, thus being incapable of handing these situation by taking responsibility for the part you played in these break-ups, and disappointment in friendship relationships. My suggestion is that you need to get to the bottom of these issues. Seek counseling in order to help unlock the reasons for this consistent pattern in your life. I think an anti-depressant might help, but that is something to discuss with your doctor. While all these people are going on with their lives, you seem stuck in a time-warp that you can't find your way out. It's time, now, to do something about it. To stay in this funk is to dismiss, or stifle the very wonderful things that make you a unique, and viable person. Please don't delay. It's time to start living your life for you, and see the future as positive rather than a black hole. As well, stay away from the ex who only chooses physical contact and no commitment.