Dear Miss Emily

My boyfriend and I had  been together for 6years. He had faults and so did I. He broke up with me, and I'm extremely sad. We talked about everything that went wrong. That mad me feel a little better but the fact is I feel he's the one for me, and I'm in love with him -- but he wants to see other people. He says he's not seeing anyone now, and I believe him. but i'm not sure if I should talk to him. I want him back ..when I try no contact, I'm very sd and call him anyway. That makes me feel better.  I'm so confused, and I don't know what to do.. Please help.

----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------
After being with someone for six years, it's almost like losing an appendage. I am so sorry for you, because I know you think you'd do everything differently if you had the chance but surely he had his share in the reasons why you and he couldn't make it work. It's awfully hard to go back to a relationship once it has ended. There is so much history there, some of it troubled, and it's almost impossible to erase. But maturity is the name of the game. It may not be impossible to find your way back together, but the way you handle this break is going to be significant. Don't appear needy, or desperate. That only proves you are helpless without him, and that can't be the case. You know you're going to have to move on with your life it he decides you and he are over, permanently, and you need to show some independence now. Keep in touch with him, be friendly, but no overkill. Ultimately, it will be him who decides if he wants to try again, but he can't be forced into it. And you shouldn't want that, as well. Your whole dynamic in the relationship would have to change to make it work a next time around. But, please be patient. It took a long time to get where you and he are in this relationship. If it's ever going to work out, it's going to take a while to get back into it if it's at all possible. But both of you must be committed to try. It can't be done with only one person on board. Again, be kind, be friendly, and avoid any drama with him. Meanwhile, get on with living your life. Your life should not be dictated in terms of success, or failure by personal decisions someone else has made. It's time to find out who you are, independent of him.