Dear Miss Emily,
 
Started dating this guy in May 2010 and it was wonderful around the time we went to the same college and spent everyday together. Once summer came it was still good visiting each other even though we were hrs apart. Once the school year started, he took the year off. Around 2nd semester Dec 2010, things started to go wrong. He started visiting less, going out parting and getting other girls numbers. Over winter break we broke up, but in April, we started talking again because he promised he would change. He began to visit, but one visit I found he was texting other girls calling them "babe" but he said they were just random girls to text when he was bored. As summer came around, I got access to his fb password. I know it was wrong to access his profile, but I did, and found out he was talking to other girls. I asked him to tell me the truth but, just recently, I invaded his privacy again  and confronted him about lying. We're not together but were still talking. He keeps saying he loves me and wants me back and, technically, never actually cheated on me. And I want what we had back, but he keeps talking and going out with other girls and not coming to see me like last summer. He is supposed to be coming back to the school in the fall, but living with his friend who he has, now, and who has multiple girls and always with one. Should I keep this talking things out, and talk to other guys too, hoping he comes to visit and take me out -- and come fall we can be good again, or should I just completely end it tell him to either commit or were completely over? Part of me knows I need to just stop talking to him, but the other part of me wants to see if it can really work out, eventually. Please help me.  Every other day I change my mind bout it.  Thanks.

----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------

I think you're going to have to face that this is who he is at this time of his life. Change comes only when it benefits the individual. He wants the freedom to see you when it's convenient, yet text girls, hang out with them and flirt to his heart's content. He does care for you but, right now, he wants to spend this time not tied into one relationship. I think you need to broaden your horizons, and wait to see how things work out when he comes back to school. If you give him all the independence he wants, with you having your share, as well, perhaps you can come to a meeting of the minds down the road. People lie when they want to have it all, and that's what he was trying to do -- but other behavior of his spoke volumes, as well. You followed up on the red flags, you found out he was conversing with other girls, and you confronted him with it. Now you know, and he's not getting away with anything. Trust is the cornerstone of any good relationship, however, and if you feel you have to watch him like a hawk, that's when the relationship isn't worth it. But, again, see what happens come fall.  Meanwhile, get on with your own life and have some fun.