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Fiance Stalls Marriage
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/5/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily
I have been with my fiance for over 4 years and engaged for almost that long. He keeps telling me we will get married but always has a reasons for why we can't. I am tired of being the girlfriend. His first wife died almost 9 years ago from a brain tumor. They had 2 kids and he adopted a child she had before him. He remarried and had a baby 2 years after and then 2 years into that marriage met me and divorced her. I was married 15 years and had three girls. After my fiance and I were soon together, we found out that I have a brain tumor which is when he first said he wanted to get married. Now he he says if we get married he is worried about money due to my ex-husband taking me to court and interferring with child support and his business that he owns. I would no longer be on medicaid which is my secondary insurance that would cover a possible second brain surgery, I do have primary insurance. My point is that I think if he really wanted to marry me he would do what it takes and figure out the financial part. Or am I going crazy and looking too much into it? There is more too all of this but that is the short version.
--------------------------------Miss Emily'advice-----------------------------
I have been with my fiance for over 4 years and engaged for almost that long. He keeps telling me we will get married but always has a reasons for why we can't. I am tired of being the girlfriend. His first wife died almost 9 years ago from a brain tumor. They had 2 kids and he adopted a child she had before him. He remarried and had a baby 2 years after and then 2 years into that marriage met me and divorced her. I was married 15 years and had three girls. After my fiance and I were soon together, we found out that I have a brain tumor which is when he first said he wanted to get married. Now he he says if we get married he is worried about money due to my ex-husband taking me to court and interferring with child support and his business that he owns. I would no longer be on medicaid which is my secondary insurance that would cover a possible second brain surgery, I do have primary insurance. My point is that I think if he really wanted to marry me he would do what it takes and figure out the financial part. Or am I going crazy and looking too much into it? There is more too all of this but that is the short version.
--------------------------------Miss Emily'advice-----------------------------
I am so very sorry that you have a brain tumor. What a sad irony that his first wife had the same condition. He may have valid reasons for not marrying due to financial issues. Although I am not privy to the laws in your area, if your ex-husband were to ask the court for reduced child support, it could be based on your joint incomes were you and your fiance to marry. Advice from an attorney is warranted. With the multitude of issues you have going on in your lives, I would think marriage is not the most important one to consider right now. If you and he have a good relationship, maintaining that should be your paramount concern. If marriage is all important to you, however, I do not think this man is going to consider it for a long time to come.
