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Boyfriend's Freedom Taken Too Far?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 06/3/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
Okay, me and my boyfriend has been dating for 5 months. About a month ago, he doesn't stay with his parents anymore. He has been staying with his friends. He doesn't have a phone so I only talk to him we he calls from one of his friends phone which is every 4 to 5 hours. We barely hang out as much, anymore, or rarely talk as much as we use to. He gets mad when I text his friends phone looking for him, and his friends get mad to...how should I feel about this -- should I not worry so much and jus calm down a little? Or do I have the right to be mad. I feel he is also putting his friends before me now that he's with them everyday.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------
To some degree, I think you're right. Now that he's out of his parents' home, he's tripping the light fantastic with his buds. But there's also a need for you to take a look at whether you're being overly pushy, or needy. I hope that's not what you're doing. If he's enjoying his freedom, and you can trust him, he may feel as if you are not letting him have some fun with his "new" living arrangement. But only you can tell whether he's being unnecessarily distant because he has broken free of parental authority, or you need to back off a little. If he doesn't have a phone, that's a problem, but texting his friends is not the right way to communicate. He needs to make the effort to see you, and show that you're important in his life. Maybe you can give him some time to sort this out but, at some point, you're going to want to know he's there for you. If he chooses his new freedom with friends, and leaves you as an afterthought, I suggest you rethink how long you want to put up with it before you break it off with him.
Okay, me and my boyfriend has been dating for 5 months. About a month ago, he doesn't stay with his parents anymore. He has been staying with his friends. He doesn't have a phone so I only talk to him we he calls from one of his friends phone which is every 4 to 5 hours. We barely hang out as much, anymore, or rarely talk as much as we use to. He gets mad when I text his friends phone looking for him, and his friends get mad to...how should I feel about this -- should I not worry so much and jus calm down a little? Or do I have the right to be mad. I feel he is also putting his friends before me now that he's with them everyday.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------
To some degree, I think you're right. Now that he's out of his parents' home, he's tripping the light fantastic with his buds. But there's also a need for you to take a look at whether you're being overly pushy, or needy. I hope that's not what you're doing. If he's enjoying his freedom, and you can trust him, he may feel as if you are not letting him have some fun with his "new" living arrangement. But only you can tell whether he's being unnecessarily distant because he has broken free of parental authority, or you need to back off a little. If he doesn't have a phone, that's a problem, but texting his friends is not the right way to communicate. He needs to make the effort to see you, and show that you're important in his life. Maybe you can give him some time to sort this out but, at some point, you're going to want to know he's there for you. If he chooses his new freedom with friends, and leaves you as an afterthought, I suggest you rethink how long you want to put up with it before you break it off with him.
