Dear Miss Emily,

So, I have this friend, well kinda. It's a guy and we were best friends in my freshman yr and his sophomore yr of high school. We could not be parted, and we spent every day together. We tried going out, but I broke up with him because I was still in love with my ex and I didn't think it was fair to this new guy i was dating. So we broke up, but we're still pretty good friends. We had a thing for each other since the day we met and so we tried this hooking up thing. So we started out as FWB, and had sex often even though we weren't together. I started to get a lot of feelings for him which I was trying to avoid, and I asked if he wanted to try going out, again, and he said he was over me. He's very hard to read so I don't know if that was the truth. Anyway, we continued to have sex even thought we were STILL not together, and I got pregnant. I am 16, he 17. I decided on keeping the baby,  and I am now 4 months pregnant and I'm sad because we used to be so close and now we never talk -- and i still have a lot of feelings for him. I asked him if he thought he would ever get his feelings back for me and he said maybe but he didn't know. I don't know if I should try getting over him, or if I should stay sad, just waiting. Please help!

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------

Because you got pregnant under these circumstances, it's more than likely the baby's daddy isn't going to be happy to set up house, and won't. And even if he were for a while, teen boys have a way of disappearing from sight and not taking an active role in parenting. They tend to think they're kids themselves (which they are), and are missing out on the fun they deserve because of their youth. Teen parents start out with problems because the baby wasn't planned, and both lives change in dramatic ways. Of course, because you're carrying the baby, the baby's father can go and do what he pleases. He has no obligation to you, or the baby other than to pay child support (that's if he's gainfully employed). Unfortunately, you are in a difficult position -- but you must have known this was possible when you didn't use protection. It's highly probable that you will raise this child as a single parent. If this guy wants any part of child-rearing, it will only happen if he truly embraces the idea that he owes his child his time, and love. But it has to come from the heart. The jury is out on that. What you should be thinking is how you're going to take care of the baby financially -- what kind of financial obligation, and time does this place on your family -- what will be your living accommodations for you and your child, and for how long?  Your baby is going to be a huge responsibility and deserves to be number one in your life. I am sorry this came at this time in your life. It's a whole new chapter you've started, before finishing the last one.  I hope you're up for motherhood. It can be a wonderful experience. A child needs to be nurtured, and cared for in every aspect of his, or her life. After the baby is born, it might he wise to seek a career path. It may take a while to achieve your goal, but being financially independent will allow you to go after what you want from a man, rather than what you thought you needed. I wish you luck.