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Internet Porn Obsession Could Ruin This Marriage
- By Miss Emily
- Published 05/13/2011
- Relationships - Women
Hello Emily,
A few months ago I was on our computer and noticed a lot of porn sites that I stumbled upon. I was shocked. How could he be looking at this when I'm always here ready whenever he is? I noticed our sex life got slim to none. We weren't having sex at all. I thought to myself, "maybe he just doesn't need it as much.." that's when I noticed all the porn. At first, like I said, I just stumbled upon it, then I began to look at his history. I felt so guilty because I'm not one to snoop AT ALL, nor get jealous like this. I know guys look at porn, and that's FINE, but when he isn't having sex with ME, that's what hurts me so bad. So,finally, I just asked him. "Why don't we have sex that often anymore?"... he explained that he was stressed because of work. And when he is stressed his sex drive goes down. Okay, why can he sit there and look at porn then? I literally am sitting there ready to go, and I always let him know when I'm horny. So what's wrong with me? When we do have sex its GREAT, for both of us. Why would he rather sit there an look at porn then have sex with me? I need help. I feel awful, and I suffer with self esteem, which has never been an issue before. What do I do? My husband doesn't know that I know that he looks at porn. I don't want him to think I was snooping.
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
The reason why men become obsessed with porn on the web is because it's there -- and in plentiful form. Where men once had to seek it out in seedy porn shops in the bad part of town, now it's convenient to access it in the comfort of the home. If you're sure it's only porn, and he's not involved in any outside activity with another woman (I only say that to cover all bases), and you truly stumbled on these sites by accident, I see no reason why you can't share that information with him. If this is the reason for his lack of interest in sex, it needs to be addressed in the open. He may have stresses at work, too, but this hasn't seemed to be a problem in the past, has it? You have every right to get this settled to your satisfaction. To lose your sex life over a new obsession with porn is an insult to your marriage, and it will ruin it if this isn't dealt with in an honest, and forthright manner. If he doesn't understand that, you and he need to seek marriage counseling in order for him to be told by a professional. Explain to him that you have no issue with him visiting porn sites, but if that's the reason for his sudden lack of interest in sex, this is not only a problem for him, but now he's brought it to your door. Marriage is a partnership, not a solo endeavor.
A few months ago I was on our computer and noticed a lot of porn sites that I stumbled upon. I was shocked. How could he be looking at this when I'm always here ready whenever he is? I noticed our sex life got slim to none. We weren't having sex at all. I thought to myself, "maybe he just doesn't need it as much.." that's when I noticed all the porn. At first, like I said, I just stumbled upon it, then I began to look at his history. I felt so guilty because I'm not one to snoop AT ALL, nor get jealous like this. I know guys look at porn, and that's FINE, but when he isn't having sex with ME, that's what hurts me so bad. So,finally, I just asked him. "Why don't we have sex that often anymore?"... he explained that he was stressed because of work. And when he is stressed his sex drive goes down. Okay, why can he sit there and look at porn then? I literally am sitting there ready to go, and I always let him know when I'm horny. So what's wrong with me? When we do have sex its GREAT, for both of us. Why would he rather sit there an look at porn then have sex with me? I need help. I feel awful, and I suffer with self esteem, which has never been an issue before. What do I do? My husband doesn't know that I know that he looks at porn. I don't want him to think I was snooping.
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
The reason why men become obsessed with porn on the web is because it's there -- and in plentiful form. Where men once had to seek it out in seedy porn shops in the bad part of town, now it's convenient to access it in the comfort of the home. If you're sure it's only porn, and he's not involved in any outside activity with another woman (I only say that to cover all bases), and you truly stumbled on these sites by accident, I see no reason why you can't share that information with him. If this is the reason for his lack of interest in sex, it needs to be addressed in the open. He may have stresses at work, too, but this hasn't seemed to be a problem in the past, has it? You have every right to get this settled to your satisfaction. To lose your sex life over a new obsession with porn is an insult to your marriage, and it will ruin it if this isn't dealt with in an honest, and forthright manner. If he doesn't understand that, you and he need to seek marriage counseling in order for him to be told by a professional. Explain to him that you have no issue with him visiting porn sites, but if that's the reason for his sudden lack of interest in sex, this is not only a problem for him, but now he's brought it to your door. Marriage is a partnership, not a solo endeavor.
