My 9 year marriage had been doomed for a few years now, so I broke free and have been seeing this other man for 5 months. At first, we were casual, nothing serious. After 2 months we realized we had fallen in love and expressed it to one another. That night, I found out via Facebook that he had been dating a 19 year old girl for  4 months. To help, he is 40, I am 29.  He said that he didn't think he would fall for me, but when he did, he was afraid to tell me about her because I'd walk away. He says he loves her, but isn't in love and knows there is no future with her due to age and difference. He said that he wants me to "wait" for him to see it through and let it end because it is now doomed because of his love for me. He said he has too much guilt of breaking her heart and doesn't want to start our relationship by leaving the girlfriend for me. He said we can see each other and let that relationship end as it is going to. Stupidly, because I was still legally married, I said I would. So, for the past 3 months I have been seeing him while he sees her. He spends 6 out of 7 nights with me and one night a week he drives an hour to see her, or she drives an hour to see him here. That one night, kills me. We have become very serious, talking future and marriage someday. I am head over heels for him. But I am tired of sharing. When I asked him (probably unfairly) to leave her or lose me, he said he can't do that. He cares about her, doesn't want to hurt her and can't break it off because "it's not that easy." What do I do? I love him and we are so very compatible. I think if she were not in the picture, we would eventually marry and be happy together. We are happy together until the phone rings or text buzzes, or he goes to her. Am I foolish for waiting it out? Does he have any intention of leaving her? Please help.

-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------

You are foolish to be with him under these conditions. To think that you're talking marriage with this man -- a man you've only dated 5 months -- and knowing what you know, is so incredibly premature it defies any rational thinking. You're just getting out of a nine-year marriage and to accept this "arrangement" in a new relationship, no matter the profession of love for each other, is a recipe for another troubled union. This man sees this girl one night a week and, I assume, sleeps with her while you sit home, week after week, waiting for him to end it with her..But why should it take an extended period of time to do it? He does her no favors by leading her on -- yet he's made it seem almost Christ-like in his approach. You should not, unless you have masochistic tendencies, continue this relationship until his teeange girlfriend is out of his life. This story might make for good summer reading at the beach, but not something you want to play out in real life. I would bet his attachment to her goes beyond what he has told you. I think it's possible he also give her money. But whatever this convoluted situation, he should man-up and do what he has to do, before he continues a relationship with you. And I'd hold him to it. The way I see it, you have nothing to lose by putting yourself first because, he isn't!