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Christian Woman Questions Relationship
- By Miss Emily
- Published 05/5/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I am 20 years old and I have a relationship question. I am a smart girl and recently ended a 2 year long distance relationship with a guy over in England because I was unsatisfied with the way he was treating me. I started talking to another fellow not too long after and we are currently dating. I should also mention that I am a strong Christian and would want to end up with someone who is as well. I know a guy at my University who is a strong Christian, and a wonderful leader. I have had a little girl crush on him for a while but never thought much of it until now. I cannot get him out of my head, and I have heard he feels similar. I am so terrified of hurting this guy I am seeing now, because he is wonderful and has expressed so much love and care for me. I think maybe I moved too fast but where do I go from here?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You can't deny your feelings, and it would be wrong to hedge your bets, although tempting. In other words, find out for sure that this "crush" does have an interest in dating you and, if so, break it off with this new guy. The reality of having a relationship with your crush may not be be the fantasy you've been flirting with and, if you were to get involved with him, that's the risk -- but that would be a risk you take in any relationship. You have to truly get to know an individual in order to not assume certain things about him (or her). I think the best approach is complete honesty. Tell the man you're dating that he's been wonderful to you, and you respect him with all your heart. But you have liked a particular guy, long before you two met, and you feel you're being dishonest with him, and yourself if you have these feelings and not follow through with them now that there's an opportunity to do so. Again, it's a risk -- but to not pursue it, you will always wonder. And if it doesn't work out with your "crush," or you never see it to fruition, I would think the man you're seeing, now, will give you a chance to rekindle the relationship, knowing for sure that he's the one you think about when your head is on the pillow at night. It takes courage to be honest, but I find it's the easiest way to conduct one's life with a clear conscience.
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
You can't deny your feelings, and it would be wrong to hedge your bets, although tempting. In other words, find out for sure that this "crush" does have an interest in dating you and, if so, break it off with this new guy. The reality of having a relationship with your crush may not be be the fantasy you've been flirting with and, if you were to get involved with him, that's the risk -- but that would be a risk you take in any relationship. You have to truly get to know an individual in order to not assume certain things about him (or her). I think the best approach is complete honesty. Tell the man you're dating that he's been wonderful to you, and you respect him with all your heart. But you have liked a particular guy, long before you two met, and you feel you're being dishonest with him, and yourself if you have these feelings and not follow through with them now that there's an opportunity to do so. Again, it's a risk -- but to not pursue it, you will always wonder. And if it doesn't work out with your "crush," or you never see it to fruition, I would think the man you're seeing, now, will give you a chance to rekindle the relationship, knowing for sure that he's the one you think about when your head is on the pillow at night. It takes courage to be honest, but I find it's the easiest way to conduct one's life with a clear conscience.
