Dear Miss Emily:

I have a 1 yr old daughter and the guy who might still be the father to her, have lived together for 2 years up until a week ago. I decided to make the "lonely" and "more of a struggle" choice of moving in with my dad at his girlfriend's house, in the BEST INTEREST OF my daughter, for the time being. My boyfriend, has taken on the daddy role to her ever since, and even before she was born.  Was it wrong to take her from the contant, overly expressive fights between me n my boyfriend, while also taking her from a home where she sees a mommy and daddy together-- and she doesn't go a day without seeing her (daddy)??? Will they grow apart? Will he eventually not love her as his own due to the separation between them that I have caused? ALSO, I now feel like so sad due to feeling lonely from secluding myself for that whole two years to just my boyfriend's choice in our social circle. ...and this depression and lack of strength  and motivation. Thanks.

--------------------Miss Emily's advice---------------

No, it was an absolute necessity that you take your daughter from a combative environment. Children learn by example and, although she is loved by this man, the reality is her mother was involved in an unhealthy relationship. You have chosen to protect her from emotional trauma. Now, I won't lie to you. This boyfriend may move on in his life, and if he finds another woman to love, he could leave his past behind -- but that is a possibility if you go back to this unhappy relationship. It's just a fact that some people will choose to look forward, leaving bonds they had formed, behind. If you provide a healthy environment for your daughter, get your life together, and meet new people you will, eventually, find someone who will love you, and your daughter, and be capable of providing a solid and secure family life. I am betting that you will not choose to live your life in isolation. You are young, and there is much good ahead of you if you believe in yourself and decide to be the master of your ship. You've already taking the wheel, now you can chart your own course. If not, you take only crumbs from those who will lead your life for you. I think you made the right decision. If this man chooses to, eventually, walk away, know that a child responds to love, and you can provide that for your lifetime. She is one, not ten, and that's to her advantage.