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Afraid Of Losing Someone Special
- By Miss Emily
- Published 04/15/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I'm currently in a relationship for about 6months now so its still kind of fresh. My prroblem is whenever I'm in a relationship, I always think about how it will end. It's scaring me cause I'm happy with where Ii am in my relationship. but I'm constantly thinking that it will all end, sadness is around the corner, and I can never be at peace, nor completely happy for once. Its frustrating!
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
This tells me you've had great disappointment in past relationships, and you're letting that rule the one you're in now. The problem is this: It's more than possible you will ruin the relationship because of a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you think it will end in failure, chances are your behavior will bring it about. One often becomes needy out of emotional insecurity, and the partner feels stifled and suffocated as a result. If you are not aware of what you are doing, you'll end up blaming everyone but yourself for it's demise. There are no guarantees in any relationship, but there's no reason to ring the death knell when things are going well. Keep your eyes and ears open, be smart about getting what you want out of a relationship, and don't compromise your core values and desires. No relationship is perfect -- but understanding, and avoiding knee-jerk responses to problems will go a long way. If this relationship does not last, don't let it happen because you have an inner mantra that says: "I wouldn't want to be a part of a group that has me as a member." In other words, don't prove to this guy why he shouldn't want to be in the relationship. Now, relax, have a good time, ask for open communication -- while taking responsibility in order to not feel victimized. If the relationship doesn't succeed, you can walk away with your ego intact, and go on with your life without being emotionally wounded..
I'm currently in a relationship for about 6months now so its still kind of fresh. My prroblem is whenever I'm in a relationship, I always think about how it will end. It's scaring me cause I'm happy with where Ii am in my relationship. but I'm constantly thinking that it will all end, sadness is around the corner, and I can never be at peace, nor completely happy for once. Its frustrating!
--------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
This tells me you've had great disappointment in past relationships, and you're letting that rule the one you're in now. The problem is this: It's more than possible you will ruin the relationship because of a self-fulfilling prophesy. If you think it will end in failure, chances are your behavior will bring it about. One often becomes needy out of emotional insecurity, and the partner feels stifled and suffocated as a result. If you are not aware of what you are doing, you'll end up blaming everyone but yourself for it's demise. There are no guarantees in any relationship, but there's no reason to ring the death knell when things are going well. Keep your eyes and ears open, be smart about getting what you want out of a relationship, and don't compromise your core values and desires. No relationship is perfect -- but understanding, and avoiding knee-jerk responses to problems will go a long way. If this relationship does not last, don't let it happen because you have an inner mantra that says: "I wouldn't want to be a part of a group that has me as a member." In other words, don't prove to this guy why he shouldn't want to be in the relationship. Now, relax, have a good time, ask for open communication -- while taking responsibility in order to not feel victimized. If the relationship doesn't succeed, you can walk away with your ego intact, and go on with your life without being emotionally wounded..
