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Confessed To Seeing A Prostitute
- By Miss Emily
- Published 04/12/2011
- Relationships - Men
Dear Miss Emily:
My gf and I may break up because I told her I had sex with a prostitute. This was over a year before I even knew my gf was on this planet. We have a wonderful relationship and were talking about moving in together about 3months from now. But since I dropped this bomb it isn't looking good. Background info: We met overseas. We both teach English in Asia. She lived about a block away from me. We've had an unbelievable relationship for the past 10months (besides this week). I have told close friends I am going to marry her. And I have never even remotely thought like that about any other woman I have dated. She has been out of the country for 1.5months traveling SE Asia with 2 other friends, and I am going to meet them about a month from now. Recently, we had that conversation on the phone and things have been awful since then. She is saying she doesn't think she will ever be able to sleep with me. That she is trying not to think about it but can't stop. She would say I love you probably 5times a day since she has been traveling, and now she hasn't said it since the convo. I have no idea what to do. I can't let her go, yet it feels like there is nothing I can do. Do you have any advice.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
This is one case that's a good example of when to keep your lips zipped. Believe it or not, there are some things that you can keep between you, and you! But you can't un-ring this bell and, now, the ball's in her court. To hold you hostage to something you did before your met her, and cannot change, leaves you no room to negotiate. She terribly naive, because anyone she's dated in the past could possibly confess the same thing. You can tell her that it was a low period in your life, or whatever to soften the blow, but it's really for her to get over-- and I think she should. Again, it serves no purpose to punish you for something you did before you met her, and a mature, wise woman would use her rational mind to settle this in your favor. As hard as is it to do, don't make a fool of yourself by apologizing profusely, nor act defensive, or weak of character. Be firm with her. You told her. It wasn't anything you felt you had to hide. You and she love each other, and you hope she finds a place for it so the two of you can move past it. If she can't, well, I'm sorry for you, but perhaps you're better off -- because to truly love you, is to accept this past "experience."
My gf and I may break up because I told her I had sex with a prostitute. This was over a year before I even knew my gf was on this planet. We have a wonderful relationship and were talking about moving in together about 3months from now. But since I dropped this bomb it isn't looking good. Background info: We met overseas. We both teach English in Asia. She lived about a block away from me. We've had an unbelievable relationship for the past 10months (besides this week). I have told close friends I am going to marry her. And I have never even remotely thought like that about any other woman I have dated. She has been out of the country for 1.5months traveling SE Asia with 2 other friends, and I am going to meet them about a month from now. Recently, we had that conversation on the phone and things have been awful since then. She is saying she doesn't think she will ever be able to sleep with me. That she is trying not to think about it but can't stop. She would say I love you probably 5times a day since she has been traveling, and now she hasn't said it since the convo. I have no idea what to do. I can't let her go, yet it feels like there is nothing I can do. Do you have any advice.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
This is one case that's a good example of when to keep your lips zipped. Believe it or not, there are some things that you can keep between you, and you! But you can't un-ring this bell and, now, the ball's in her court. To hold you hostage to something you did before your met her, and cannot change, leaves you no room to negotiate. She terribly naive, because anyone she's dated in the past could possibly confess the same thing. You can tell her that it was a low period in your life, or whatever to soften the blow, but it's really for her to get over-- and I think she should. Again, it serves no purpose to punish you for something you did before you met her, and a mature, wise woman would use her rational mind to settle this in your favor. As hard as is it to do, don't make a fool of yourself by apologizing profusely, nor act defensive, or weak of character. Be firm with her. You told her. It wasn't anything you felt you had to hide. You and she love each other, and you hope she finds a place for it so the two of you can move past it. If she can't, well, I'm sorry for you, but perhaps you're better off -- because to truly love you, is to accept this past "experience."
