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Fickle Ex-boyfriend
- By Miss Emily
- Published 04/7/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Miss Emily:
Hi, I am 19 years old, and my ex and I dated for a year and, then, he randomly broke it off because he said his didn't have feelings for me anymore. It was a very hard time for me, but he met a new girl a couple months later, and dated her for 7 months. Then he broke up with her for the same reason! He texted me a couple days later (after not talking to me for about a year!) and said he wanted to meet up. We did, we hit it off, and he told me that breaking up with me was his biggest regret and I was all he could think of the past year (and I think he was serious). He started to come visit me at university, and we talked everyday for a month. But one day he texted me saying he needs time to think, and he knows hes screwed up. Hes' a very emotional guy. He said he just doesn't know if he wants to be in a relationship right now and, from the beginning, he knew, I knew we wouldn't be in a relationship right away. But now when he is "thinking" he NEVER talks to me. I've talked to him briefly once in a week, and it wasn't flirty talk like it usually is. It just confuses me because he was the one that broke up with me, then he was the one who wanted me back and came to visit me? What should I do? I really want things to work out. I really care for him. Should I text him casually, or talk to him about the situation (I don't want to rush him and push him away)? Or should I not text him at all? I'm afraid he'll move on if I don't try to contact him. HELP!
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
What you should fear is a redo of what came down with him the first time. He may think he's sincere, but it would be better for all concerned if he actually knew what he wanted before he went after it. No, I do not think you should pursue this other than tell him "Let me know when you have a definitive plan to move on, or give our relationship a new start." Personally, I think this guy is a fickle mess. That's okay. He's young and can be given a pass for it. But you don't need to be a volleyball in his game of "How do I feel at this moment?" because it makes you look easily manipulated, and too willing to wait like a understudy hoping the lead will get sick. If he did move on, it would not be a result of anything you did. It's his issue to solve, and I'd wait until he did before I ever thought of getting involved with him again.
Hi, I am 19 years old, and my ex and I dated for a year and, then, he randomly broke it off because he said his didn't have feelings for me anymore. It was a very hard time for me, but he met a new girl a couple months later, and dated her for 7 months. Then he broke up with her for the same reason! He texted me a couple days later (after not talking to me for about a year!) and said he wanted to meet up. We did, we hit it off, and he told me that breaking up with me was his biggest regret and I was all he could think of the past year (and I think he was serious). He started to come visit me at university, and we talked everyday for a month. But one day he texted me saying he needs time to think, and he knows hes screwed up. Hes' a very emotional guy. He said he just doesn't know if he wants to be in a relationship right now and, from the beginning, he knew, I knew we wouldn't be in a relationship right away. But now when he is "thinking" he NEVER talks to me. I've talked to him briefly once in a week, and it wasn't flirty talk like it usually is. It just confuses me because he was the one that broke up with me, then he was the one who wanted me back and came to visit me? What should I do? I really want things to work out. I really care for him. Should I text him casually, or talk to him about the situation (I don't want to rush him and push him away)? Or should I not text him at all? I'm afraid he'll move on if I don't try to contact him. HELP!
----------------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
What you should fear is a redo of what came down with him the first time. He may think he's sincere, but it would be better for all concerned if he actually knew what he wanted before he went after it. No, I do not think you should pursue this other than tell him "Let me know when you have a definitive plan to move on, or give our relationship a new start." Personally, I think this guy is a fickle mess. That's okay. He's young and can be given a pass for it. But you don't need to be a volleyball in his game of "How do I feel at this moment?" because it makes you look easily manipulated, and too willing to wait like a understudy hoping the lead will get sick. If he did move on, it would not be a result of anything you did. It's his issue to solve, and I'd wait until he did before I ever thought of getting involved with him again.
