Dear Miss Emily:

We have been together 11 years in May, he wants me to marry him this year. The problem is it is obvious he has a thing for this (married) woman at work. I saw texts he sent her saying things like "you make me feel so special" and "you look so good today"...he texts her first thing every morning, and after I have said something about how it upsets me (he got mad), and he hides it or lies about it. He is always buying her coffee and energy drinks, and even talks to her about arguments we've had (after asking me not to discuss arguments with anyone). I don't think he is cheating on me (sex-wise), but it still upsets me that he continues to text her and stuff, knowing it upsets me. I have no friends to talk to, only him who I love very very much. We have 2 daughters, and I really do not want to split, but how can I be with someone who lies to me and has no respect for my feelings?

---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------

I'm not sure you can stay with someone who so blatantly disregards your feelings, and lies to you. No relationship is perfect -- few have it all,  but one thing that makes it work well -- makes it worth the effort, is respect. I would tell him it's absolutely mandatory that he end this relationship with her because it is obviously not a friendship, but a flirtation that has gone too far. If he does not see the error of his ways, or refuses to get any relationship counseling in order to help settle this matter, see someone, alone. I know you've been with him for eleven years, have two daughters with him, and love him, but it's going to take more than that before you walk down the isle with this man free of suspicion and doubt.