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Teenage Sex Dilemma
- By Miss Emily
- Published 04/5/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
I am a 16 year old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now. We had a pretty intense make-out but nothing too steamy or serious. We don't really talk about much when we are together. We were really good friends before we started dating. Now when I see him he always insinuates that we should do things together. I have certain morals and I don't want to do any of that stuff. I wondered if we should break up? Thank you for any advice you can give me!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
Friendship does not always translate into a quality romantic relationship, but a quality romantic relationship should have friendship at its base. It's possible you and he made better friends. Now that the sex angle has come into play over the last five months, it's altered your relationship. But that's not uncommon, especially with teenagers who are still learning how to be in a relationship -- trial and error. The fact that you and he don't talk about much when you're together is not a good sign of a solid relationship, however. There's more than sex, obviously, and having mutual interests, things to talk about, makes it worth your time and effort. You owe him absolutely nothing more than you want to give, sexually, and you must be firm about it. Teenage boys, well, males in general, will often go after what a female will give sexually, but the difference between one guy from the next is respect. He needs to respect your feelings, be sensitive to them, and honor your wishes. If he is pushy, after you have told him where you stand, I would break up with him. It's your life, and you have every right to pursue a relationship that works for you. I'm sure this boy has many fine attributes, but don't continue the relationship if you and he don't communicate well, and his brain seems to be functioning from the spot below his waist.
I am a 16 year old girl. I have been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now. We had a pretty intense make-out but nothing too steamy or serious. We don't really talk about much when we are together. We were really good friends before we started dating. Now when I see him he always insinuates that we should do things together. I have certain morals and I don't want to do any of that stuff. I wondered if we should break up? Thank you for any advice you can give me!
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------------
Friendship does not always translate into a quality romantic relationship, but a quality romantic relationship should have friendship at its base. It's possible you and he made better friends. Now that the sex angle has come into play over the last five months, it's altered your relationship. But that's not uncommon, especially with teenagers who are still learning how to be in a relationship -- trial and error. The fact that you and he don't talk about much when you're together is not a good sign of a solid relationship, however. There's more than sex, obviously, and having mutual interests, things to talk about, makes it worth your time and effort. You owe him absolutely nothing more than you want to give, sexually, and you must be firm about it. Teenage boys, well, males in general, will often go after what a female will give sexually, but the difference between one guy from the next is respect. He needs to respect your feelings, be sensitive to them, and honor your wishes. If he is pushy, after you have told him where you stand, I would break up with him. It's your life, and you have every right to pursue a relationship that works for you. I'm sure this boy has many fine attributes, but don't continue the relationship if you and he don't communicate well, and his brain seems to be functioning from the spot below his waist.
