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He Kept Child A Secret
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/30/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
My fiance, 8 months into our relationship tells me he has a son from a previous relationship. I told him, at the beginning of the relationship that I didnt want any more children. He does not have a job, but I do. He recieves SSI. We can't afford another child. especially one thats not even mine. We are due to be married in August, this year. He just told me this last night. NOW WHAT!!!
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
Of course, this is a horrible shock to you. In order to go into a marriage comfortably, you have to trust the individual and, now, he's broken that trust. Whether his child is a financial drain, or not, the issue is that he was deceptive from the get-go. Right now, I would make no plans to marry him until I was absolutely sure this can be worked out to my satisfaction. And it might not come to that. If his son becomes a part of his life, and that's not how you saw a future with this man, then that's a deal breaker. To keep a child from a former marriage, hidden, up until now, is not only a huge breach of trust in the relationship, but shows a complete disregard for his child. And that, my dear, does no speak well of your fiance.
My fiance, 8 months into our relationship tells me he has a son from a previous relationship. I told him, at the beginning of the relationship that I didnt want any more children. He does not have a job, but I do. He recieves SSI. We can't afford another child. especially one thats not even mine. We are due to be married in August, this year. He just told me this last night. NOW WHAT!!!
---------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
Of course, this is a horrible shock to you. In order to go into a marriage comfortably, you have to trust the individual and, now, he's broken that trust. Whether his child is a financial drain, or not, the issue is that he was deceptive from the get-go. Right now, I would make no plans to marry him until I was absolutely sure this can be worked out to my satisfaction. And it might not come to that. If his son becomes a part of his life, and that's not how you saw a future with this man, then that's a deal breaker. To keep a child from a former marriage, hidden, up until now, is not only a huge breach of trust in the relationship, but shows a complete disregard for his child. And that, my dear, does no speak well of your fiance.
