- Home
- Relationships - Teens
- First Love Is With "Bad Boy"
First Love Is With "Bad Boy"
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/30/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Emily,
I am 16 and will be 17 in just over a month. Getting right to the point there is an 18 year old soon 19 year old guy that I like. We have known each other almost a year and are friends. We have admitted that we like each other. And when he sees me he subtly flirts (ex. touching/grabbing my waist, tight hugs, trying to hold my hand). The thing is that I have NEVER had a boyfriend or a first kiss due to being so focused on homes school and becoming a full time dancer. I know a lot about him and it's a rough past. He got his GED a few years ago, has been arrested multiple times, and spent 2 years in jail before I met him. I know he's had at least 1 girlfriend before and he's not a virgin (I AM). Even though he attends my church, and we mainly see each other there, he wants to come to my house a lot to hang out. I know he smokes, drinks and gets high often. And my parents would never approve of him. Even though he is very tough and has a long past I cant help but love him. And I know it's real love, I've never felt this way about any guy I've talked to. I know I'm young and he's not the best person for me but, when he's around me, he's a completely different person. He becomes very sweet and flirtatious and loving. We both would like a relationship but I don't know if I should do it. I think he could be the one. Any advice or help is greatly appreciated!
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I understand the lure. He's what you call a "bad boy" and those guys can be very attractive to females. They have a rebel side, a past, and seem pretty worldly for their age. But I caution you to get involved with him. You've led a pretty sheltered life, and your parents will go ballistic if they find out his past and your involvement with him. Think about it. "Mom, I love this guy despite his prison record, sexual past, drinking and drug taking." After you picked her up off the floor from her dead faint, I think you'd find out just how fast your parents will take action to stop you seeing him. And even if they didn't find out about his past, now, they will, eventually. If you try to pretend he's just a church going, easy, and naive guy around them, it's unlikely you could keep up the facade for too long. He simply is who he is! Once you get involved with a guy like this, it's a big responsibility. Of course, he's loving now, but this is the early throes of the relationship. He'll want to spend a great deal of time with you, because he has time on his hands -- and he'll probable make demands. You do not, however, have a lot of free time and you risk having your grades suffer and your dancing career going out the window if you get serious with him. Your future is important, and to risk it over "first-love obsession" could hinder that in a big way. Just the lying you'd have to do about him would be a big burden. I can't tell you not to take this where you want it to go, because I know it may not do any good. I am only warning you of the pitfalls. It's up to you to figure out if it's worth it, knowing all that may lie ahead.
I am 16 and will be 17 in just over a month. Getting right to the point there is an 18 year old soon 19 year old guy that I like. We have known each other almost a year and are friends. We have admitted that we like each other. And when he sees me he subtly flirts (ex. touching/grabbing my waist, tight hugs, trying to hold my hand). The thing is that I have NEVER had a boyfriend or a first kiss due to being so focused on homes school and becoming a full time dancer. I know a lot about him and it's a rough past. He got his GED a few years ago, has been arrested multiple times, and spent 2 years in jail before I met him. I know he's had at least 1 girlfriend before and he's not a virgin (I AM). Even though he attends my church, and we mainly see each other there, he wants to come to my house a lot to hang out. I know he smokes, drinks and gets high often. And my parents would never approve of him. Even though he is very tough and has a long past I cant help but love him. And I know it's real love, I've never felt this way about any guy I've talked to. I know I'm young and he's not the best person for me but, when he's around me, he's a completely different person. He becomes very sweet and flirtatious and loving. We both would like a relationship but I don't know if I should do it. I think he could be the one. Any advice or help is greatly appreciated!
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
I understand the lure. He's what you call a "bad boy" and those guys can be very attractive to females. They have a rebel side, a past, and seem pretty worldly for their age. But I caution you to get involved with him. You've led a pretty sheltered life, and your parents will go ballistic if they find out his past and your involvement with him. Think about it. "Mom, I love this guy despite his prison record, sexual past, drinking and drug taking." After you picked her up off the floor from her dead faint, I think you'd find out just how fast your parents will take action to stop you seeing him. And even if they didn't find out about his past, now, they will, eventually. If you try to pretend he's just a church going, easy, and naive guy around them, it's unlikely you could keep up the facade for too long. He simply is who he is! Once you get involved with a guy like this, it's a big responsibility. Of course, he's loving now, but this is the early throes of the relationship. He'll want to spend a great deal of time with you, because he has time on his hands -- and he'll probable make demands. You do not, however, have a lot of free time and you risk having your grades suffer and your dancing career going out the window if you get serious with him. Your future is important, and to risk it over "first-love obsession" could hinder that in a big way. Just the lying you'd have to do about him would be a big burden. I can't tell you not to take this where you want it to go, because I know it may not do any good. I am only warning you of the pitfalls. It's up to you to figure out if it's worth it, knowing all that may lie ahead.
