- Home
- Relationships - Teens
- Teen Break-up
Teen Break-up
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/28/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Hello Emily,
I'm 13 and I recently got dumped by a boy I really liked. At first, I was sort of happy about the break up because he had really hurt me. When I asked him why he wanted to break up, he said he didn't care about me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore, and he said a bunch of other mean stuff -- and I didn't even do anything wrong! I was so nice to him and put so much effort into our relationship which only last for 3 months. We broke up 2 months ago, and I still have feelings for him...my question is, should I let him know that or should I just ignore him? I haven't talked to him in a while though and, also, how do I get over a broken heart? I've tried pretty much everything. Help!
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
No, I don't think you should tell him you still have feelings for him. Although he might have some good attributes, he handled the break-up poorly, with insults that were totally unnecessary. But young people often don't know how to handle this kind of thing, and they use the most defensive tactics possible because they can't express their true feelings in a more constructive way. It's something that you'd think would come naturally with humans, but it doesn't. To want nothing to do with you is an absurd statement, because if infers you did something wrong -- and that's not the case. He simply decided he wasn't invested in the relationship and, to come off blameless, he chose to make it look as if you were the problem. Unless your behavior was offensive, or needy, that is not the case. You don't truly know what was in his mind, and getting into a relationship is not always going to be the success you want it to be. This age is a fickle age, and relationships are often fleeting. The way to get over him is to take a huge does of maturity and understand the whole picture. I know you see it as rejection, but it shouldn't be -- for all the reasons I stated above. You are taking this personally and, although it's hard not to, you have to see that it was simply his choice -- it's okay to move on -- yet the way he handled it was a weakness on his part. He will, hopefully, learn, and so will you, what are the true elements of a good relationship. The best ones are based on respect, friendship, trust, common interests, and values that are similar. This is "water testing" time for you, so to speak. He is only a small blip on your radar screen of what's ahead in your life. Many boys will come along who offer so much more than he was willing to give, and it's worth the wait for someone who is right for you. Feeling insecure about this will only put you in a position of being needy. No relationship strives, well, when neediness is at its core. Self-confidence, and high self-esteem will move you in the right direction. I hope I helped.
I'm 13 and I recently got dumped by a boy I really liked. At first, I was sort of happy about the break up because he had really hurt me. When I asked him why he wanted to break up, he said he didn't care about me and wanted nothing to do with me anymore, and he said a bunch of other mean stuff -- and I didn't even do anything wrong! I was so nice to him and put so much effort into our relationship which only last for 3 months. We broke up 2 months ago, and I still have feelings for him...my question is, should I let him know that or should I just ignore him? I haven't talked to him in a while though and, also, how do I get over a broken heart? I've tried pretty much everything. Help!
------------------------------Miss Emily's advice-------------------------
No, I don't think you should tell him you still have feelings for him. Although he might have some good attributes, he handled the break-up poorly, with insults that were totally unnecessary. But young people often don't know how to handle this kind of thing, and they use the most defensive tactics possible because they can't express their true feelings in a more constructive way. It's something that you'd think would come naturally with humans, but it doesn't. To want nothing to do with you is an absurd statement, because if infers you did something wrong -- and that's not the case. He simply decided he wasn't invested in the relationship and, to come off blameless, he chose to make it look as if you were the problem. Unless your behavior was offensive, or needy, that is not the case. You don't truly know what was in his mind, and getting into a relationship is not always going to be the success you want it to be. This age is a fickle age, and relationships are often fleeting. The way to get over him is to take a huge does of maturity and understand the whole picture. I know you see it as rejection, but it shouldn't be -- for all the reasons I stated above. You are taking this personally and, although it's hard not to, you have to see that it was simply his choice -- it's okay to move on -- yet the way he handled it was a weakness on his part. He will, hopefully, learn, and so will you, what are the true elements of a good relationship. The best ones are based on respect, friendship, trust, common interests, and values that are similar. This is "water testing" time for you, so to speak. He is only a small blip on your radar screen of what's ahead in your life. Many boys will come along who offer so much more than he was willing to give, and it's worth the wait for someone who is right for you. Feeling insecure about this will only put you in a position of being needy. No relationship strives, well, when neediness is at its core. Self-confidence, and high self-esteem will move you in the right direction. I hope I helped.
