- Home
- Relationships - Women
- Return The Money?
Return The Money?
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/18/2011
- Relationships - Women
Hi Emily,
I am a female, 23 yrs old. First some background info: I was with a guy for about 5 yrs. and 4 of those yrs we were together the last year we were broken up but would still see each other/sleep together. This stopped when I found out about another girl that he had become very close to. She had been introduced to his family and was spending the night with him. I was jealous and hurt by his new relationship. I felt betrayed. He apologized to me and told me that he wanted to work things out that what he had with her was a small and his feelings for her weren't as strong as they were with me. I said okay but, then, the next day I moved out of my sister's house and changed my #. I was too hurt to try and fix things with him. He called to my job and emailed but I ignored him- told him not to call me at work ever again. When I lost contact with him I also took off with about $3000 of his money which he kept with me for savings. I went shopping and dated anyone and everyone I could. I know sounds terrible way to cope but that's how I did it...but even though he was seeing a girl while we were broken up I still felt cheated and it still didn't change the fact he lied to me. Its been about a year and a half since I last saw him and I was thinking about contacting him to return his money. In my mind, I've always tried to make myself feel better by saying that time is money and he wasted my time so I wasted his money...or I'll say that money was just as much mine, as his, with the years we were together...but we weren't married and deep down I know that money was his and not mine. He trusted me to hold on to it for him. Although he betrayed my trust, should I be the bigger person and return what is his? After all he can't take back what he did, He apologized, but so did I. I still have this guilt and I think it has to do with me being in love with him still. I dream about him, talk about him, think about him. The dreams are so realistic. I truly miss him...I'm thinking about contacting him. I know he is probably happy in his new relationship. I don't want to ruin anything for him, but I do want to hear from him. What do you think? Should I pay him back, or should I just leave things alone? I know, one day, I'll eventually get over him.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I'm afraid the real reason you want to contact him is to see how he's doing, hoping there's a chance to rekindle your relationship -- using the money as an opening. If that's the case, you, obviously, take the risk of finding out he is happy and, yes, he'd be grateful if you'd return the money -- thank you very much. If you're prepared for that, possibly, being the case, contact him. If you're not prepared, and the only recourse you have is to return the money, think twice about making the overture. In his mind, losing the three grand may be the price he paid for moving on.
I am a female, 23 yrs old. First some background info: I was with a guy for about 5 yrs. and 4 of those yrs we were together the last year we were broken up but would still see each other/sleep together. This stopped when I found out about another girl that he had become very close to. She had been introduced to his family and was spending the night with him. I was jealous and hurt by his new relationship. I felt betrayed. He apologized to me and told me that he wanted to work things out that what he had with her was a small and his feelings for her weren't as strong as they were with me. I said okay but, then, the next day I moved out of my sister's house and changed my #. I was too hurt to try and fix things with him. He called to my job and emailed but I ignored him- told him not to call me at work ever again. When I lost contact with him I also took off with about $3000 of his money which he kept with me for savings. I went shopping and dated anyone and everyone I could. I know sounds terrible way to cope but that's how I did it...but even though he was seeing a girl while we were broken up I still felt cheated and it still didn't change the fact he lied to me. Its been about a year and a half since I last saw him and I was thinking about contacting him to return his money. In my mind, I've always tried to make myself feel better by saying that time is money and he wasted my time so I wasted his money...or I'll say that money was just as much mine, as his, with the years we were together...but we weren't married and deep down I know that money was his and not mine. He trusted me to hold on to it for him. Although he betrayed my trust, should I be the bigger person and return what is his? After all he can't take back what he did, He apologized, but so did I. I still have this guilt and I think it has to do with me being in love with him still. I dream about him, talk about him, think about him. The dreams are so realistic. I truly miss him...I'm thinking about contacting him. I know he is probably happy in his new relationship. I don't want to ruin anything for him, but I do want to hear from him. What do you think? Should I pay him back, or should I just leave things alone? I know, one day, I'll eventually get over him.
-----------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
I'm afraid the real reason you want to contact him is to see how he's doing, hoping there's a chance to rekindle your relationship -- using the money as an opening. If that's the case, you, obviously, take the risk of finding out he is happy and, yes, he'd be grateful if you'd return the money -- thank you very much. If you're prepared for that, possibly, being the case, contact him. If you're not prepared, and the only recourse you have is to return the money, think twice about making the overture. In his mind, losing the three grand may be the price he paid for moving on.
