Dear Miss Emily:

I rushed into a relationship with a woman 20 years older than me. We were engaged and trying for a baby. I left her 3 months ago -- not spoke since. I've seen her, and shes 3 1/2 months pregnant. I only have her word for it but, apparently, its mine. She wants to have the baby as this could be her last chance. I don't want it. What do I do?

------------------------------Miss Emily's advice------------------------

I don't think there's anything you can do! She's chosen to have the baby and that was her decision to make. Perhaps she won't care if you're actively involved in the child's life, and there isn't anything that says you have to be. However, if the U K is anything like The States (where I live) you will be required, if she demands it, to make child support payments. You can insist on a paternity test, and I would in order to make sure this is your child. Find out what she expects you to do, and go from there. I think, once you've thought about this in any depth, you may want some involvement in this child's life. It would be your right. You may not, but don't make that decision now, because a baby has a way of changing one's mind.