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Boyfriend's In Prison
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/10/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I am in a relationship with a inmate, and we have been together off and on for 5yrs. He has been in the for 2. Sometimes he can be so sweet, and other times he writes me letters and say hurtful things. I know being in there can plays mind games -- but I'm not sure if I should let him go, or what to do. I do love him with all my heart. Please help.
---------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------
Being in prison can make someone bitter, if they didn't already start out that way. To be confined, and with nothing more than a group of, often times, hostile men, can raise the frustration level to a fever pitch. Were you to break up with him while he was in prison, I think he'd do everything he could to beg you not to leave him. His contact with the outside world is important to him, and most prisoners dream of the day they are on the outside (if not in for life) with their loved ones. Three more years is a long time to wait for him to get out, however, and if you've done everything to get him to stop saying hurtful things, (because you are an innocent and do not deserve it), yet he still continues to use you as his "whipping post" I would consider a break -- at least for a while, in order for you to see if it's what you really want on a permanent basis. You've been together off and on for a reason, and some of those reasons for the off times may be glaring at you, now, like a neon sign. It's sad, but loving someone with all your heart does not necessarily make a relationship work. A break could allow you to explore a relationship with someone who is free to love, and be loved.
I am in a relationship with a inmate, and we have been together off and on for 5yrs. He has been in the for 2. Sometimes he can be so sweet, and other times he writes me letters and say hurtful things. I know being in there can plays mind games -- but I'm not sure if I should let him go, or what to do. I do love him with all my heart. Please help.
---------------------Miss Emily's advice-----------------
Being in prison can make someone bitter, if they didn't already start out that way. To be confined, and with nothing more than a group of, often times, hostile men, can raise the frustration level to a fever pitch. Were you to break up with him while he was in prison, I think he'd do everything he could to beg you not to leave him. His contact with the outside world is important to him, and most prisoners dream of the day they are on the outside (if not in for life) with their loved ones. Three more years is a long time to wait for him to get out, however, and if you've done everything to get him to stop saying hurtful things, (because you are an innocent and do not deserve it), yet he still continues to use you as his "whipping post" I would consider a break -- at least for a while, in order for you to see if it's what you really want on a permanent basis. You've been together off and on for a reason, and some of those reasons for the off times may be glaring at you, now, like a neon sign. It's sad, but loving someone with all your heart does not necessarily make a relationship work. A break could allow you to explore a relationship with someone who is free to love, and be loved.
