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Cheating With Guilt
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/10/2011
- Relationships - Women
Dear Miss Emily:
I have been married for 9 years. I have 2 children. I have cheated on my husband with 4 or 5 different men since we have been married,only one was a serious relationship -- the rest was like one night stands.The other night I got drunk and had sex with a man my husband works with. I can't remember all of what happened. I know I am the one whom started it and asked him to have sex with me. Now at my home with my husband and my kids I feel so sick. I have not talked to the man anymore. I am just so sick at my stomach like I can't breathe. I'm sick and then I think at the same time I probably would sleep with that man, again. So I do not know what to do. I have been debating on leaving my husband because I am not attracted to him anymore. What should I do? I day dream every day about leaving my husband. What I have done I have done before but. this time, I wake up thinking about it and I would rather just leave than trying to hide it or end up doing it again with someone else. Should I try to make things work for my kids or what? Please help me.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Assuming you can't afford therapy to get to the bottom of why you aren't being faithful to your husband, you should not put yourself through this time-and-time, again, feeling like a failure and riddled with guilt. And it isn't fair to your husband. I know that staying together for the children has some merit, but doing it and suffering, miserably, is not the answer, either. If you can't be faithful to him, for whatever the reason, it would be better to live your life as a single woman who has the ability to live guilt-free. It's a tough decision to make, but you cheat for a reason, and it's not going to go away by wishing it so. Bottom Line:, Get to counseling if there's any conceivable way, or consider leaving this man. Your cheating will come to light, one day, and it only stands to muddy the waters if you stay, or in a divorce.
I have been married for 9 years. I have 2 children. I have cheated on my husband with 4 or 5 different men since we have been married,only one was a serious relationship -- the rest was like one night stands.The other night I got drunk and had sex with a man my husband works with. I can't remember all of what happened. I know I am the one whom started it and asked him to have sex with me. Now at my home with my husband and my kids I feel so sick. I have not talked to the man anymore. I am just so sick at my stomach like I can't breathe. I'm sick and then I think at the same time I probably would sleep with that man, again. So I do not know what to do. I have been debating on leaving my husband because I am not attracted to him anymore. What should I do? I day dream every day about leaving my husband. What I have done I have done before but. this time, I wake up thinking about it and I would rather just leave than trying to hide it or end up doing it again with someone else. Should I try to make things work for my kids or what? Please help me.
---------------------------Miss Emily's advice--------------------------
Assuming you can't afford therapy to get to the bottom of why you aren't being faithful to your husband, you should not put yourself through this time-and-time, again, feeling like a failure and riddled with guilt. And it isn't fair to your husband. I know that staying together for the children has some merit, but doing it and suffering, miserably, is not the answer, either. If you can't be faithful to him, for whatever the reason, it would be better to live your life as a single woman who has the ability to live guilt-free. It's a tough decision to make, but you cheat for a reason, and it's not going to go away by wishing it so. Bottom Line:, Get to counseling if there's any conceivable way, or consider leaving this man. Your cheating will come to light, one day, and it only stands to muddy the waters if you stay, or in a divorce.
