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Culture Clash
- By Miss Emily
- Published 03/9/2011
- Relationships - Teens
Dear Miss Emily:
Hi, so first of all I'm Indian, and that plays a huge part in this whole situation, because we are not allowed to have any relationships with any guys before we get married, not even going on dates. I am 15. So 2 years ago, an Indian boy asked me out and I said yes. Our parents found out, a month later, and totally ended the whole thing. We were still really close. though. but were too scared to start going out again. Now two years later, we pretty much do what a couple in a relationship would do (talking for hours on the phone, complimenting each other, talking about feelings) so I feel like he is on the verge of asking me out...and I really do like him. If he does, should I say yes? This would completely ruin the relationship between me and my parents, and they would lose complete trust in me if they found out. What should I do?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
I don't think you should risk it. The stakes are too high. There's a good chance your parents will find out, again, and if they had the power to end it last time, they'll be even more forceful next time around. Continue the correspondence if you wish, but to go any further with this relationship, at this time, is courting trouble. I know you care a great deal for him, but with the cultural restraints that you are under -- if you were to ignore them, at 15 -- it could alter your life irreparably. When you are older, then you can decide if it's worth your parents disapproval. But you need them, now, and you don't want to spend the rest of your teen years, at home, under lock-down.
Hi, so first of all I'm Indian, and that plays a huge part in this whole situation, because we are not allowed to have any relationships with any guys before we get married, not even going on dates. I am 15. So 2 years ago, an Indian boy asked me out and I said yes. Our parents found out, a month later, and totally ended the whole thing. We were still really close. though. but were too scared to start going out again. Now two years later, we pretty much do what a couple in a relationship would do (talking for hours on the phone, complimenting each other, talking about feelings) so I feel like he is on the verge of asking me out...and I really do like him. If he does, should I say yes? This would completely ruin the relationship between me and my parents, and they would lose complete trust in me if they found out. What should I do?
----------------------------Miss Emily's advice----------------------
I don't think you should risk it. The stakes are too high. There's a good chance your parents will find out, again, and if they had the power to end it last time, they'll be even more forceful next time around. Continue the correspondence if you wish, but to go any further with this relationship, at this time, is courting trouble. I know you care a great deal for him, but with the cultural restraints that you are under -- if you were to ignore them, at 15 -- it could alter your life irreparably. When you are older, then you can decide if it's worth your parents disapproval. But you need them, now, and you don't want to spend the rest of your teen years, at home, under lock-down.
